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A Christian Testimony: An Ever Startling Spiritual Battle

I’m an ordinary woman, from a family in rural China. After getting married I often quarreled and had fights with my husband over trivial matters. I lived in emotional agony every day and considered dying many times, but the thought of my young child always made me give up the idea of suicide. As such, my daughter became my only hope for survival and I relied on this for support.

In November of 2007, one of my classmates preached the gospel of the kingdom to me. I saw these words of God: “Since the creation of the world, I have begun to predestine and select this group of people—namely, you of today. Your temperament, caliber, appearance, and stature, your family into which you were born, your job, and your marriage—you in your entirety, even including the color of your hair and your skin, and your time of birth—were all arranged by My hands. I arranged by hand even the things you do and the people you meet every single day, not to mention the fact that bringing you into My presence today was actually done by My arrangement. Do not throw yourself into disorder; you should proceed calmly. What I allow you to enjoy today is a share that you deserve, and it has been predestined by Me since the world’s creation.” After reading God’s words, I understood that my marriage and family were both ordained by God, and that I was predestined to believe in God long ago. I didn’t complain anymore. Soon afterward, I began to live the church life: praying, reading God’s words, and singing hymns to praise God with my brothers and sisters. I felt especially liberated, and was freed from the painful life that I used to lead. Hope rose in my heart.

spiritual battle

Seven months after I started to believe in God, my daughter, who was a high school student at that time, came home for the summer break. That day, I went out to a meeting and my daughter happened to discover a note with some God’s words I’d copied down in my pocket. When I returned home from the meeting, she looked very unhappy and asked, “Do you believe in God?” “Yes. How did you know that?” I replied. Then my daughter said angrily, “Our principal said at a school meeting that belief in God is opposed by the national government. The students whose parents believe in God will be forbidden from taking the college entrance examination, and their future employment opportunities will also be affected. It’s up to you to deal with this!” Hearing her say this, my heart sank. Believing in God is a good thing, so how could it negatively affect my child’s future? In confusion, I said, “God comes to save us and asks us to be good people. He doesn’t participate in politics. How could believing in God affect your further education and employment?” My daughter got angry, saying, “Anyway, our principal said these things. Even if you don’t care about yourself, you should at least consider me.” Then she left. I felt awful, and pondered over my daughter’s words. Could what she said be true? What if she can’t find a good job in the future? Should this be the case, won’t her future prospects have been ruined by me? Won’t she blame me forever? Inside me, there was a fierce battle raging. I was torn between protecting my daughter’s future prospects and God, who gave me the truth and life. I just couldn’t bear to give up my belief in God. What on earth was I to do? The more I thought about it, the more upset I felt. I was unable to eat or sleep well. During the several days that followed, I remained indecisive about this matter.

Just when I was most at a loss and distressed, a sister from the church came to my home. I told her about my difficulty. Then she said to me, “Man’s future and fate are in God’s hands. They are not decided by people. Let’s read some of God’s words. God says, ‘From the moment you come crying into this world, you begin to fulfill your duty. Performing your role in God’s plan and in His ordination, you start your life’s journey. Whatever your background, and whatever the journey ahead of you, no one can escape the orchestrations and arrangements of the Heaven, and no one is in control of their own destiny, for only He who rules over all things is capable of such work. Since the day man came into existence, God has ever worked thus, managing the universe, directing the rules of change for all things and the trajectory of their movement. Like all things, man is quietly and unknowingly nourished by the sweetness and rain and dew from God; like all things, man unknowingly lives beneath the orchestration of God’s hand(“God Is the Source of Man’s Life”). From God’s words we can see that the destiny of every one of us is arranged by God. As to whether or not your daughter can attend college or what kind of job she may get in the future, God has the final word. This is not decided by any person or government.” Then I thought: Mankind’s fate is indeed in God’s hands. It is not decided by any person. I wished to find a great partner and live a happy life, but things just didn’t turn out that way. God’s words are correct! Then, the sister went on to say, “God is testing our faith by allowing such situations to happen to us. It is a battle in the spiritual realm. When Satan is carrying out its cunning schemes, God wants to see whether we can stand firm and bear witness during Satan’s attacks. Let’s look at another passage of God’s words. God says, ‘Because God has become flesh, Satan has employed every sort of accusation, hoping thus to attack God. However, God does not retreat; He simply speaks and works among mankind, allowing people to know Him through His incarnate flesh. Satan is red-eyed with fury at this, and has exerted much effort to make God’s people negative, retreat, and even lose their way. However, due to the effect of God’s words, Satan has failed completely, which adds to its ferocity. Therefore, God reminds everyone, “In your lives, there may come a day when you will meet with such a situation: Would you willingly allow yourself to fall captive to Satan, or will you let Me obtain you?”’ God wants to save us and free us from the bondage of Satan so that we may live in the light. But, on the other hand, Satan tries to disturb and tear down God’s work and cause mankind to lose the opportunity for God’s salvation. Satan knows that you love your daughter most, so it uses her to disturb you and attempts to make you reject and leave God. Once you leave God, you will be under Satan’s domain, and you’ll be taken to hell by Satan. This is Satan’s treacherous intention.”

Through the sister’s fellowship, I understood it was all Satan’s plot. I said to her, “So Satan was using my daughter’s words to disturb me and make me weak so that I would push God away. I was so close to being fooled by Satan! I can’t fall captive to Satan and allow it to take me to hell. I must stand on the side of God. No matter what my daughter says in the future, I will absolutely not waver. May God give me faith.” The sister nodded with a smile.

However, Satan was not willing to be defeated so it employed new tricks. One night less than a month later, knowing that I still believed in God, my daughter said to me impatiently, “Mom, stop believing in God! I’m going to take the college entrance examination soon. If you insist on your belief in God, my school will not allow me to take the exam. You should think of me. Don’t be too selfish.” Hearing these words, I thought: It is for your sake that I’ve made compromises and lived together with your father for all these years. Since I started believing in God, I have been less depressed and distressed than I was before, and my mental outlook has improved a lot. Don’t you see that? Then, I said to my daughter in a mild tone, “Haven’t you noticed that I’ve been in excellent spirits every day since starting to believe in God? I’ve come a long way to finding the true God. Why don’t you understand me?” Seeing that I wouldn’t listen to her, my daughter walked off in a huff without another word. I asked her hastily, “It’s already dark out. Where are you going?” She didn’t respond and continued on her way out. At that time, my cousin was also there. She rushed to drag her back, but my daughter just wouldn’t come back no matter how hard she tried. After my daughter left, my heart was in turmoil. It was dark already and school was closed for summer vacation, so she couldn’t go back there. And we had no relatives nearby. Where could she have gone? My cousin and I called her repeatedly, but she never answered the phone. We went out to look for her but to no avail. It was past ten o’clock at night. I send texts to her, but she still didn’t reply. I was so agitated that I walked back and forth around the house, with my heart in my mouth. My cousin cried from worry, saying, “Sister, what if your daughter has an accident?” Hearing this, I got even more anxious. She was a young girl, aged 18, how would I be able to live with myself if she met with an accident? The more I thought about it, the more afraid I became. I waited in suspense for my daughter to reply to my texts. It was not until five minutes after midnight that I finally received her reply. I opened the text, only to see the following words: “I’m not going back until you promise to give me what I want.” Looking at her text, I was worried and fearful. So, I responded, in a tone of negotiation, “Please come back now. I’ll consider what you said and answer you later.” An hour later, however, my daughter replied, “If you do not agree to my request and persist in your belief, I’ll break up with you and put it in writing that I’ll never have contact with you for the rest of my life.” I was dumbfounded at my daughter’s text. What was going on? I just had faith in God; I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Yet my daughter was actually going to break up with me. It broke my heart. She is my only child, my lifeblood. I’ve paid a great price because of her during all these years, and I never imagined that she could be so heartless to me because of my belief in God. At that moment, I wanted to cry but no tears came. Then I thought: I might as well not believe. Believing in God is too difficult. I’ve put all my hope completely in my daughter. I can’t lose her. My heart ached increasingly as I thought about it. I felt as if the sky were falling. spiritual battleI knelt down and cried out to God, “Oh God! What should I do? Please help me. My daughter is going to break up with me because of my faith. I’m afraid of losing my only daughter, and I don’t want to leave You. Oh God, I don’t know which way to choose. I’m unable to overcome it. I really have no way out. God, what should I do?” Just when I was praying, I remembered God’s words: “In every step of work that God does within people, externally it appears to be interactions between people, as if born of human arrangements or from human interference. But behind the scenes, every step of work, and everything that happens, is a wager made by Satan before God, and requires people to stand firm in their testimony to God. Take when Job was tried, for example: Behind the scenes, Satan was making a bet with God, and what happened to Job was the deeds of men and the interference of men(“Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God”). Through reading God’s words I suddenly saw the light. Uh oh! Aren’t I falling into Satan’s trap? Isn’t this another spiritual battle? I should stand witness for God and never make concessions to Satan. With God’s words supporting me, I had the courage inside to go to war against Satan. So, I sent a text to my daughter, “Whatever happens, I cannot agree to your request.” Then I felt much more grounded inside, and was no longer as worried as before.

Half an hour later, my daughter texted me again, saying, “In that case I’m going to die.” I was shocked, and thought: She had actually said something like this. Maybe I should tell her that I’ll stop believing in God. Then she will not commit suicide, and I will not be tortured like this. I picked up my phone to call my daughter. Just at that moment, I recalled a happy time at a gathering with my brothers and sisters when my heart was at ease and peaceful. If I didn’t believe in God, however, I would simply return to the dark and painful life I had lived in the past. Holding the phone, I thought of my daughter and my church life alternately, wavering back and forth inside. Should I compromise with my daughter? Feeling helpless, I put down my phone and prayed to God, “Oh God! What shall I do? Please help me …” At this point, I thought of God’s words: “Man’s heart and spirit are held in the hand of God, everything of his life is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, whether living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear in accordance with God’s thoughts. Such is the way in which God presides over all things(“God Is the Source of Man’s Life”). I thought: Yes, whether or not my daughter ended her life tonight is in God’s hands. It’s not up to her. Everyone’s life is controlled by God. The heart and spirit of my daughter are also controlled by God. Her thoughts will shift according to God’s thoughts. Is she not trying to persuade me to abandon my belief in God by threatening me with death? With the guidance of God’s words, I had confidence again. So, I replied to my daughter, “I’m sticking to believing in God.” After a while, she sent a text back, saying, “I’m going to die!” This time I realized it was Satan’s sinister plot. It threatened me with the death of my daughter over and over again. This is how despicable it was! Feeling much calmer than I had been earlier that night, I reminded myself not to fall for Satan’s tricks again. My daughter’s life was in God’s hands. It was not decided by Satan, let alone any human being. After I thought of this, I replied to my daughter, “Do as you please.” Then, I said a prayer to God, “Oh God! I will entrust my daughter to You. Whether she will die or not is in Your hands. Without Your permission, she will not die even if she wants to. I’m willing to obey Your plans.” After I had prayed, my heart was at ease. It was two o’clock in the morning. I lay in bed and fell asleep without realizing it. After dawn, I was still a little worried when I thought back to what had happened last night. I stood on the street for a while, and didn’t hear any bad news from anyone. So my heart settled.

A week later, my phone rang. I was extremely excited when I saw it was my daughter calling. I picked up my phone immediately and said, “Hello!” She said, “Mom, happy birthday!” I was pleasantly surprised, and said in tears, “Oh, today is my birthday! I forgot it myself.” My daughter also said she had bought a present for me. Hearing this, I kept giving thanks to God in my heart. When the call ended, I came before God at once and sincerely offered up a prayer of praise and thanks to God.

Since then, my daughter has never again tried to prevent me from believing in God. Besides, her career prospects were not affected at all, and she found a satisfactory job. She even encouraged me, saying, “Mom, I see that you have really changed since believing in God. You are not the same as before. Just be a good believer in God, as long as it makes you feel good.” My daughter’s attitude has changed. I know this is all God’s deeds. God used real situations to let me see Satan’s meanness and evilness. It employs all sorts of methods to deceive and swallow up mankind, trying to make all of us into its funerary objects. Through this experience, I have also realized that if we can rely on and look up to God, and let God’s word have dominion over us, Satan will withdraw. It will forever be defeated by God. I now truly appreciate the power of God’s word and have seen how difficult it is for God to save mankind. After experiencing this spiritual war, I have seen that God is right beside me helping and guiding me constantly. Thanks be to God! All glory goes to God!

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