A month of industrial design course ended last Friday, but there was still the last step to finish. And that was the final examination this Friday night. Normally, I should organize my trainees to come to school to take the exam. However, I couldn’t do that as planned because something suddenly had come up. That would mean that I would organize them to take the exam online at home that night. If really so, I would feel worried in my heart. I thought: “This month our teaching department implements the system of rewards and punishments of teaching and we hold the final exam for the first time. The crux of the matter is that the exam is held online. In case my trainees encounter some unexpected situations and there are no teachers to direct them at their side during the exam, then it is sure to affect my performance review of this month. In time to come, I might be fined and lose face.” However, I truly had no time that night and it was unworkable to reschedule the exam, either. Thinking a lot, I had no choice but to organize my trainees to take the exam at home. At the same time, I believed I could get lucky, thinking: “Usually the attendance rate of my class rises to 99% and the students’ homework completion rate also rises to 95%. Perhaps they won’t let me down at the last final exam.”
On Monday of the next week, I started work. As soon as I logged on to my QQ, I received a voicemail message from one of my trainees. She was anxious, saying incoherently, “Ms. Xiaoyun, when having the exam, I forgot there was a time limit to the exam, and so I had the exam while working at the cashier’s desk. Unexpectedly, the examination system was forcibly shut down soon; hence, I couldn’t answer the questions. What shall I do?” All I could do was first give her a word of comfort. At this time, I had a bad foreboding that my previous worry might become a fact and this exam result might really be terrible. After that, I couldn’t wait to check my students’ grades online via the school exam results checking system. The moment I saw the result I was stunned because the passing rate of our class was only 54%, which was obviously below the required passing rate of 75% (the lowest fine limit). That would mean that besides being fined, I would also lose face. Therefore, I was moody all morning.
After I finished work at midday, I was a bit absent-minded and my head was full of thoughts of this thing on the way home. I thought: I’m the director of the teaching department and the system of rewards and punishments is established by me. In the first month of implementing this system, I lead the way in losing face. Being fined is only one side. What’s worse is that how I can stand among the teachers of the teaching department in the future. Suddenly, a thought occurred to me: Should the teaching assistants not take the responsibility? Originally, after we ended the courses, there should be a timely exam. However, due to the assistants, our exam time was postponed for one week and my trainees had to take the exam at home. As a result, there were full of unexpected situations, which caused the result of today. Perhaps I can use the assistants as an excuse to report to the headmaster and apply to him for the cancellation of this exam result. What’s more, the things of the teaching department are basically up to me, and according to my understanding of the headmaster, he’ll agree with me. So the success of this application is at hand. Perfect! It’s settled! While walking, I did my own calculations.
However, I felt a bit uneasy: It’s me who established the system, but now it will be broken by me in the first month. Even though the headmaster agrees with me, my conscience won’t let me go. At this time, I remembered some words of God that I often read: “God never does things perfunctorily, He always acts according to the principle of ‘one is one and two is two’” “You ought to know that God likes an honest man. God has the substance of faithfulness, and so His word can always be trusted. Furthermore, His actions are faultless and unquestionable” “Honesty means to give your heart to God; never to play Him false in anything; to be open with Him in all things, never hiding the truth; never to do that which deceives those above and deludes those below; and never to do that which merely ingratiates yourself with God. In short, to be honest is to refrain from impurity in your actions and words, and to deceive neither God nor man.” From God’s words I knew that God has the substance of faithfulness; He is principled in what He says and does; His words and actions fit the reality and are reliable. Besides, God likes honest people. His will is to let us be pure and open in all things, not deceive our superiors or defraud our subordinates, not lie or deceive for our own benefits, but treat things that befall us with an honest heart and live honestly and straightforward. However, look at myself. Just because of the terrible exam result, I wanted to cancel this result. I obviously was in opposition to God’s demands. Further dissecting myself, why did I plan to shift blame on the assistants so that I could apply for the cancellation of this exam result? Actually, I was clear in my heart: It is money and vanity that dominates me so that I have such a crafty plan. On the surface, it was very easy to apply for the cancellation; however, God’s intent to carefully arrange such an environment was in order to allow me to attain the truth and understand how to be human. So, if I used human means to resolve it, then I would have attained nothing. I should be an and make my words fit the reality according to God’s demands of us. Even if being fined and losing face, I should face up to it and only in this way could I feel peaceful and steady. This was because God said: “If someone always speaks the true words of his heart, always speaks frankly, and always speaks simply, then there is hope for this person. If this person is always packaging and wrapping up what he says and always projecting a false image to others, then he is in danger and in trouble. You can see how a person’s prospects are through his daily life, words, and acts. If a person is always acting and putting on airs, then he is in danger and is not on a good path. Which road are you taking? Taking the road of being an honest person is never a mistake! Others say, ‘How is it that you say everything? You let others know everything you are thinking. How can you be so foolish?’ How do you handle it? How do you feel after hearing this? (Indifferent.) That is correct. ‘Indifferent. You see things how you are willing to see them. My being an honest person is my business. It is my responsibility and the road that I should take.’ The most correct path that a believer should take can never change and cannot be influenced by others. People never open their hearts but are always concealing them, always hiding them, always putting on airs, always acting, always wanting to make others think highly of them, never wanting others to see through to their actual thoughts, real conditions, and nature. Is this type of person foolish? (Yes.) What road is he taking? (It is the road of the hypocritical Pharisees.) Is the road of the Pharisees dangerous? What kind of road is this? The road to destruction!” From God’s words, I understood that being an honest person is God’s demand of us. No matter how others saw me, it was my affair and I should assume the responsibility; moreover, it was the path I had to walk. Only honest people can be saved by God. However, I always wanted to package myself instead of laying my true face bare; I wished for others to look up to me and think I was virtuous. What I did was just in order to protect my good image among people. Was I not walking the same path of the hypocritical Pharisees? Now, if I wasn’t honest, indeed I would walk the path of the Pharisees to destruction.
However, I could feel it’s difficult for us corrupt man to practice God’s words and be honest people before our benefits. Thinking that I would lose my face and my benefit would suffer losses, I still didn’t have the courage and strength to be honest. I thought: After all, I have power and it’s really easy for me to cancel this exam result. Since I have power, why not use it? I am unwilling to waste this chance and make myself lose face and money. Should I practice God’s words, or should I protect my benefit? I was having an intense battle in my heart.
Later one morning, when I was practicing spiritual devotions, I brought my predicament before God to pray: “O God! With regard to this thing, I’m constrained and controlled by money and vanity, and all I want to do is cancel this exam result for protecting my own benefit. Thank You for Your revealing, which makes me see my satanic ugliness of selfishness and baseness, which is completely in opposition to Your requirements for honest people. Although I know Your will, my stature is too small. I’m afraid of being fined and losing face. O God! May You give me faith and courage so that I can forsake the flesh and put the truth of being honest people into practice to shame Satan and care for Your will….” After two days of praying and seeking, I understood , and decided to put aside my vanity and practice the truth—reporting to the headmaster on our exam result and accepting being fined.
Arriving at school, I first logged on to my QQ as usual. Suddenly, a trainee sent me a message, which said: “Ms. Xiaoyun, I definitely have passed the exam but why did you announce I failed it?” Thus, I hurriedly entered the backstage of the online examination system. When I saw the result, I was surprised. It turned out that I checked a wrong form before and this form was the right one. On this form, it clearly showed the score of every trainee of this exam. The right result was that there were two persons failing the exam and one person missing it and that passing rate for the final exam was just 75%. I was very surprised that if it was one percentage point lower, I would be fined. At the same time, I saw God’s hand and thanked and praised God’s marvelous deeds from the heart. I also understood the aim of God orchestrating all this is to expose and save me. It’s just as God said: “God works on each and every person. Regardless of what method He employs, what form it takes or what tone He uses to speak to people, there is only one final aim, and that is to save you.”
A small examination as it was, yet it was too special for me. I deeply felt that the aim of God orchestrating this environment was to test whether I was willing to be an honest person and whether I was willing to seek and practice the truth to glorify God and shame Satan. Thanks to God’s protection, I’ve passed this “exam” in fear and trembling. Having this little experience, I further strengthen my future life goal—being an honest person according to God’s demands. Only honest people are true human and can be saved by God.
Thank God for His mercy and protection for me. All the glory be to God!
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