What to Do When Children Argue and Fight

by Xia Tian

pray to god

Through the windows and blinds the silvery moonlight filtered into the bedroom. Xiadong opened her dry and sleepy eyes a little. She took a look at her thirteen-year-old son and ten-year-old daughter. It was time for her to call the children to get up to pass water.

“Xuanxuan, Huihui, it’s time to wake up and go pee.” She whispered the pet names of her children. Her daughter didn’t respond and appeared to be sleeping soundly. The son said yes sleepily, and rose up slowly from the quilt. Suddenly, the daughter jumped out of bed and dashed into the bathroom, and slammed the door. Seeing that, the son immediately got wound up and hastened to the bathroom. But he was late, so he could only wait outside anxiously. In a few minutes, the daughter returned and sat on the bed, and then the son came back too.

“Mom called me first, why did you shoot ahead of me? You’re so annoying! You always get ahead of me. What a nuisance you are!” The son roared at the daughter with glaring eyes.

The daughter retorted, “I am a what? Why can’t I go first? You are slow, it’s your own fault.” She felt wronged and burst into tears as she said this. Her cries and their noise of quarrel sounded harsh in the still night. Bothered by their noise, Xiadong lost her desire to sleep. She was annoyed, but she still tried to lull them, “It’s just fine. It doesn’t matter who goes first. Don’t be naughty. Try and sleep right away. You have to go to school tomorrow.” However, neither of them was willing to put themselves aside and they still quarreled and even kicked each other under the quilt. This senseless quarrel made Xiadong grow more annoyed. She thought: It’s now useless to lull them. So she snapped, “It’s already midnight! What are you two doing? Isn’t it annoying? It’s only such a little thing you two argue for. Can’t you be generous with each other? If you continue, both of you get out!” But this rebuke made the two children feel more wronged; they cried even more bitterly and kept grumbling at each other. Listening to their noise of quarrel, Xiadong could only lean against the nightstand and wrinkle her brows. She didn’t know how to stop them. She sat still for a few minutes, and suddenly, she thought of God. She hurried to pray within, “God! My two children are bickering because of a trifle. I have tried to lull them and even scolded them, but to no avail. I really don’t know what to do. Please guide me.” After prayer, a passage of God’s words arose in her mind, “Of everything that occurs in the universe, there is nothing that I do not have the final say in. What exists that is not in My hands? All that I say goes, and among men, who is there who can change My mind?”, “… but know I am Almighty God ruling all things in the universe! For Me there are no problems that cannot be resolved, much less is there anything that cannot be accomplished and any word that cannot be said”. Xiadong saw hope in God’s words. God is almighty. He is the Master of the universe and nothing is difficult for Him. Are my kids not also in God’s hands? Xiadong understood God’s will and knew that she should rely on God rather than her own ability to solve this problem. The situation only got worse when she tried to deal with their quarrel by herself, and from this she realized her arrogance and ignorance. She was willing to commit her children to God and asked for His help to solve this problem, and let His word reign and take control. Then Xiadong had faith in God and knew the way of practice.

She quickly picked up the MP5 player by the pillow, searched for Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life, and read a passage of words to the children, “Tell me, if a person has no truth, will he suffer? He’s really suffering. He can’t get along with anyone for long, and is constantly in conflict with everyone around him. That’s an annoying thing. After he fell out or argued with someone, how did he feel when he came back home and lay in the bed? Upset, right? And he kept thinking, ‘Why are these guys so bad? Why can’t there be one more good person? If there are more good people like me, we can get along well with each other, isn’t it?’ You see, those without the truth always think they are good and think others bad. They are always finding fault with others. This kind of people are tired, right? … Then if you have truth, and when you associate with others, you can treat him properly regardless of what shortcomings he has, you can tolerate him, have patience with him, and you have love for him; problem solved, right? … Truth can truly change people. One without the truth is in enmity with everyone, and have hatred for anyone. After one has truth … he can just tell/recognize who are true brothers and sisters, and he can have love for them and live in harmony with them. If brothers and sisters make a transgression, he can endure and tolerate them, and in his heart he feels gratified, happy, and at peace. When you are possessed of more humanity, and when you are better able to live by truth before God, you will feel enriched, peaceful, and joyful. … When truth takes charge of man’s life, he will feel happy, bright, released, and free.” Gradually, the two children calmed down. They listened attentively in the bed. Xiadong smiled and said gently, “You see, how good these words are. We are fooled and harmed by Satan just because we have no truth. We have been so corrupted by Satan that we all become selfish and self-interested, and have no patience or love for others; no matter what we do, we always put ourselves first, and pursue the principle of how to take advantage of something and not be taken advantage of. You two got annoyed and lost your temper simply because the other got ahead of you. And you thought you suffered loss so you two quarreled and even kicked each other. Is that the likeness of man? We don’t have patience and tolerance when treating our families, then how can we treat others with patience and tolerance? Is that right?”

Because Xiadong often fellowshiped about God’s words with them before, this time they understood her words easily. They poked their heads from under the quilt and nodded slightly. Seeing that they accepted her words, Xiadong was excited and offered her thanks and praises to God in her heart. She moderated her tones and said mildly, “We have no truth, and we do not know ourselves when things happen, but always find fault with others, thinking it’s all their fault. That’s why we felt wronged and painful. All these are the torments of Satan. Satan corrupted us so that we have become selfish, self-interested, and we contend against each other, and thereby people can’t get along with each other. Satan is too malicious. But God loves us, He requires that we live out normal humanity and have love for others, and that in treating others we should forbear with others and care for them. In everything we do we should make others benefit and think more about others, and should not think only of ourselves but sympathize with others’ weakness and forgive their offenses. Only in this way can we build a normal relationship with others and thus live in harmony. So we should read more of God’s word and let His word rule in our hearts, and only then can we see through Satan’s trickery and no longer be fooled by it. My boy, you’re the brother. If your sister does something wrong, you should tolerate her and help her. You shouldn’t seize on her mistake, or you will fall into Satan’s trap.” The son felt guilty and said, “Mom, I’m wrong.” Then Xiadong said to the daughter, “You’re wrong too. You should accept what your brother said, and shouldn’t hold a grudge against him. God likes those children who readily accept the truth. You should accept the mistake your brother pointed out and correct it. Don’t struggle or contend next time, but be modest and accommodating toward each other. And don’t only think of yourself. Then Satan will be shamed and dare not play tricks on you. In this way you won’t feel wronged.” The daughter felt self-blame and said, “Sorry! It is I who am to blame. I shouldn’t get ahead of my brother and I’ll correct it next time.” The two children both apologized and admitted their mistakes. After Xiadong saw this, her heart was full of gratitude to God. She practically tasted God’s almightiness and loveliness, and couldn’t help sighing with emotion: Without God’s guidance I would be helpless when facing this matter. Before the facts, she felt she was so small and incompetent, and saw God’s greatness. It was God who was her rear guard and helped her stop the rumpus, so that she could have peace. Looking at her two children who had fallen asleep, she deeply tasted that God was her only reliance.

Night became quiet again. As the children were sleeping sweetly, the moonlight was becoming more silvery. The bedroom seemed placid in the silvery light. The alarm clock was ticking in rhythm, and its hands pointed to 2:30 a.m. At this moment, Xiadong was not weary. She lay in the bed and recalled the scene just now. Without God’s guidance, how could they three have such a peace? This time she tasted God’s love and felt the authority and power of God’s words. She thought back to the past. When she had difficulties in work so many times, it was God who helped her out and gave her faith. When she met family disputes or children’s bickering, it was God who led her to solve them with the truth. God’s word saw her through every difficulty so that she was able to avoid many Satan’s afflictions and temptations. She deeply realized that only God is able to settle the disputes and stop the quarrels among people. Only God has the ability to solve all the problems in our lives because He is possessed of this kind of authority and power. Just as God’s words say, “but know I am Almighty God ruling all things in the universe! For Me there are no problems that cannot be resolved, much less is there anything that cannot be accomplished and any word that cannot be said”.

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