By Xi Wen, Hong Kong
I was born in an atheistic country—China. Because of the educational influence in schools, I believed fallacies such as “Man evolved from apes” and “There is no God in the world” from a child. At that time, I, full of endless hope and dream in my heart, thought the world was beautiful and there was enough love among people. Only if I lived straightforwardly and did things conscientiously could I enjoy a joyful life. After I graduated from technical secondary school, I worked as a child-care service teacher. I had thought the teachers in kindergartens were the purest. Beyond my expectation, the reality had a very big difference from my imagination after I entered into this society.
At the beginning of my work, I treated my colleagues with all my sincerity, communicating everything with them, for I thought we could get along very well in this way. As time went on, I found my colleagues would always bully those inferior to them, but become jealous of those superior to them, speaking and behaving one way in front of others and another way behind their back. Just at that time, my coworker, Ms. Guo was kind to me superficially, and I treated her wholeheartedly, too. Unexpectedly, I was informed of being spoken ill by her before our headmaster that I didn’t treat the children well or have a knowledge of communication with the children’s parents, which finally led to a bad impression on the headmaster. After hearing this, I didn’t understand why she had done like that. Isn’t it said in our school books that the world will be filled with love? Why was I frustrated at my first turn in this society? Having been attacked here, I quitted this job and started to work in another kindergarten. I thought the new situation would be probably better, things did not turn out as I wished yet. This headmaster is a realistic woman. She would value whoever flattered her, while I wasn’t good at doing that. I only did my work conscientiously, so, naturally, I wasn’t laid stress on. Some time later, I couldn’t bear this kind of unfairness, so I resigned again. I served as a clerk in a company, hoping things to turn around. Nevertheless, colleagues struggled openly and secretly with each other. For instance, one colleague said bad words about another colleague before me, and then would say bad ones about me before another colleague. In this complicated crowd, I felt extremely tired every day, seeing conniving and intrigue, trying to cheat and outwit with each other amongst them. In desperation, I turned back to be a kindergartener. … For four years I have been searchingly working at several places only to see the darkness and ugliness in this society. I wonder where my shelter is, and why there are such complex relationships between persons. Then, I wanted very much to establish my own family—a habitat at which I can express my release.
In March 2013, I set up my own family. My husband who cherishes me very much, took me to settle in Hong Kong from the mainland. I used to hear about the sentimental relationship between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Even so, I, inexperienced, didn’t think so, for I thought I am not fussy about every detail but considerate of others, so there was no difficulty dealing with the relationship between my future mother-in-law and me! After marriage, I offered to live together with my mother-in-law and younger sister-in-law, through which I intended to enhance the relations between the families. In my daily life, I resolved to undertake my own responsibility, trying to be an understanding wife and a loving mother: As soon as my mother-in-law was dull at home, I would always accompany her chatting, shopping and drinking tea, and so forth. In that way, I thought daughters-in-law like me were already excellent enough. However, we began to confront contradictions after the birth of my elder daughter. Not only did my mother-in-law not take care of me during my confinement in childbirth, but she gave me the cold shoulder. Because she always thought my daughter and I separated her son further from her, she gave me a long face even when I offered to speak to her. Seeing this, I was sad in the heart. Especially on one occasion, my husband and I took my mother-in-law and my daughter to drink the afternoon tea in the wine shop where there were many customers inside. My mother-in-law stood up suddenly and asked me loudly, “Did you steal my money, didn’t you?” Before I have gotten it at the minute, she continued saying, “It was you that stole 20,000 yuan, clothes and jade articles from me.” I was scared to be at a loss, trembling and responding her with a tremulous voice, “I didn’t steal your money. Don’t do wrong to me.” But my mother-in-law did not really let this situation go. My husband was so embarrassed that he held our daughter in his arms, took my hand and left there. After the matter, I was broken completely. Although I treated my mother-in-law with a true heart, having been doing my utmost to maintain the relationship between us, she wronged me like that, which made it hard for me to accept such a fact. I was incapable of understanding why my mother-in-law treated me like that. Why can people not live together peacefully? Reluctantly, my husband and I, with our daughter, moved out of the extended family. However, my spirit was not relieved at all. On condition that I thought of my mother-in-law, I was very sorrowful and even often dreamed of those unhappy things. At times, I was so sorry that I pinched my hand to give full vent to my sorrow and despair. In the end, however, I had no way to solve my inner wound and sadness.
In this way, I was boiled till in April 2015, when my younger brother in the mainland ran into an accident and was sent into the hospital. I hurried to the mainland and met my brother in the hospital, covered with multiple serious injuries on his general body, eyes bleeding, all of which were very scary. Seeing my brother lying on the sickbed, I felt sad very much. At that moment, I sensed that man’s life is indeed fragile and I was even thinking whether it would be me that could run across the next accident. All of a sudden, I felt helpless. Recalling my temporary family condition where there were worries and sufferings here and there, I didn’t know why man lives so painfully. Is there anyone who can tell me the answer? Under such a sad and helpless situation, I suddenly thought of easing myself in , for I heard people can there. Though I didn’t know whom is and what I should do in the church, I just wanted to find a place where I could be relieved and quiet in my heart.
After returning to Hong Kong, I took part in a religious service with my friend in the church where I knew the words of the for the first time. A passage of the verses was like this: “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus said to him, I say not to you, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven” (Mat 18:21-22). I listened carefully. At the same time, I wanted to forgive my mother-in-law and put down the resentment according to the word of the Lord Jesus. However, when I came out of the church, I didn’t know how to forgive. Moreover, having gone to the church a few times, I noticed a sister always spoke harsh words to others and attacked others in all that she did; there was also a couple who were godly in the church, while they often fought at home. After a while, my grudge against my mother-in-law still existed, at the same time I saw these phenomena, thus I didn’t feel like attending those religious services any more. But just at the moment when I planned to give up, the salvation of Almighty God in came upon me.
Once I posted a picture of the Bible on the website, which was right seen by the mother of a classmate of my daughter. She contacted with me and introduced Sister Qiao to discuss the Bible together. The first time I saw Sister Qiao, I felt closer to her. During our talk, I poured all the bitterness out these years, and she shared her understanding with me. She said, “In the beginning, when God created mankind, they simply obeyed God and listened to God’s word, without the conniving and intrigue, jealousy and strife, living harmoniously. Later, owing to the temptation of Satan, the ancestors of man ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. From then onward, Satan’s poisons were instilled into man, then maliciousness and atrocity began to enter the hearts of man. In the following, Cain, the elder son of Adam killed his brother, Abel, on account of jealousy. Because man committed sins and lost the carefree life bestowed by God, they lived in different hardships. …” With these words, I seemed to understand a bit the issue why it is so hard for people to get on with one another, with my heart amazingly relived.
Originally, my mother-in-law has also been corrupted by Satan, so she would treat me like that. I thought: Only after I heard the fellowship of Sister Qiao one time could I free myself a little. Maybe the grudge between my mother-in-law and me would be defused if I listened several times again, so I looked forward to the next fellowship.
At the second meeting, sister Qiao preached to me the work of Almighty God in the last days. The sister fellowshiped with me from the creation of the world during which mankind was really corrupted by Satan, to the management plan of God’s intention to save mankind, and then to the three stages of God’s work in the midst of humanity: The work of the Age of Law, the work of the Age of Grace and the work of the Age of Kingdom. The sister told me as well that in the last days, Almighty God became flesh in China, and have personally expressed words and done work for more than twenty years. This work is the third step of work, that is, the last step of work. After this work is concluded, God will take man to a wonderful destination. Therefore, there will not be any tears and sorrows amongst humanity. … I listened to the sister’s testimony as I suddenly felt astonished: God is so real for me for the first time; He comes among people in person and expresses words to rescue us. At that minute, I would like to know more about God. The sister gave me a book named New Believers Essentials and some passages of God’s newest utterances on God Himself, the Unique in the Latest Utterances of God, and then I was deeply attracted in these words of God and the mystery of God’s work. When there being time, I would read God’s word.
One day, I saw God’s words: “Man’s corrupt disposition stems from his being poisoned and trampled upon by Satan, from the egregious harm that Satan has inflicted upon his thinking, morality, insight, and sense. … After being corrupted by Satan, his original sense, conscience, and humanity grew dull and were impaired by Satan” (“To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God”). “In the dispositions of normal people there is no crookedness or deceitfulness, people have a normal relationship with each other, they do not stand alone, and their lives are neither mediocre nor decadent. So, too, is God exalted among all, His words permeate among man, people live in peace with one another and under the care and protection of God, the earth is filled with harmony, without the interference of Satan, and the glory of God holds the utmost importance among man. Such people are like angels: pure, vibrant, never complaining about God, and devoting all their efforts solely to God’s glory on earth” (“Interpretation of the Sixteenth Utterance”). Reading God’s words, I thought back the struggles and false accusations between persons for the sake of their interests before my belief in God; after marriage, my mother-in-law and I turned against each other for some trivial matters of everyday life. Because of the corruption of Satan, we humans lost the original likeness of just being created, without humanity or reason. The affliction and persecution from the contact among people are attributed to Satan’s corruption and disturbance. However, God will save us and let us recover the likeness of a true man, making us live in harmony. If we don’t come before God, we will never know about the truth, never let go of the contradictions between persons, thus sink down into varieties of sufferings.
From then on, when I thought of my not being treated well by my mother-in-law, I would and read God’s words, letting God keep my heart from being attacked by Satan. Gradually, I found my hatred for my mother-in-law disappeared and I didn’t feel so painful as before. Later, I could eat with my mother-in-law initiatively. To my surprise, the attitude of my mother-in-law to me got better, too. I truly tasted God can indeed lead man to break away from Satan’s bondage. I saw God’s blessing words to man: “When man achieves the true life of man on earth, the entire forces of Satan will be bound, and man will live easily upon earth. Things will not be as complex as they are today: Human relationships, social relationships, complex familial relationships…, they are such bother, so painful! Man’s life here is so miserable! Once man has been conquered, his heart and mind will change: He will have a heart that reveres God and a heart that loves God. Once all those within the universe who seek to love God have been conquered, which is to say, once Satan has been defeated, and once Satan—all the forces of darkness—has been bound, then man’s life on earth will be untroubled, and he will be able to live freely upon earth. … Living a normal human life on earth, man will be similar to an angel; though still being of the flesh, he will be much like an angel. This is the final promise, it is the last promise that is bestowed upon man” (“Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination”). God’s words gave me faith. I believe only God can utterly solve the complicated relations between persons and that only God can guide man to the wonderful destination, so that they can have the life like that of the angels.
When I watch the musical, Xiaozhen’s Story, the hymn of God’s words in it deeply moved me: “Mankind who left the life supply from the Almighty does not know why they exist, and yet fears death. There is no support and no help, but mankind is still reluctant to close their eyes, braving it all, drags out an ignoble existence in this world in bodies without the consciousness of souls. You live with no hope. He lives with no aim. There’s only the Holy One in the legend, there is only the Holy One in the legend who’ll come to save those who moan in suffering and long desperately for His arrival. In the people who are unconscious, this belief can’t be realized so far. The people however still yearn for it, yearn for it. The Almighty has mercy on these who suffer deeply. At the same time, He’s fed up with these who are unconscious, ’cause He has to wait, has to wait too long for the answer from mankind, from mankind. He wants to seek your spirit and your heart. He wants to bring you food and water. He wants to wake you up. So that you are thirsty no more, hungry no more. And when you are feeling weary, and when you begin to feel the desolation, the desolation of this world, do not be perplexed, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time.” Listening to every word of the hymn and recalling those days when I lived in this misery world without God in my life, I indeed felt weary. Just like the words in the hymn: I am surrounded by various miseries and braces myself to live on. Only God has a knowledge of my distress and helplessness in my heart. It was God who brought me before Him and had me know I came from God when I had no way out. In God’s words, I saw clearly the root of my misery and came to know that we humans have been deeply corrupted by Satan and that we are in need of God’s salvation, so I had an expectation and a goal for living. This feeling was just as a lost lamb returns to the embrace of its mother and depends on her, from which I sensed the true love and salvation of God for me. I am willing to lean close to God and follow God to the end!
Dear brothers and sisters, If you have any understanding or enlightenment from God, welcome to share with us via the online chat window at the bottom of the website or send an email to [email protected]. We sincerely hope we’ll grow spiritually through sharing with each other.
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