Why Did She Forgive Her Husband Who Had an Affair?

By Zhou Yu

In November, it was already very cold. At dusk, all the other people on the road were hurrying to their homes; only Xiaoyu wheeled her bike weakly on her way home, her legs feeling like dead. In the past she usually rode her bike to home as quickly as possible. Today, however, she didn’t want to go home. It was because the unexpected incident the other day enveloped her heart like a haze.


On that morning, Xiaoyu tidied up her husband’s clothes when he was about to go to the bathroom. Unexpectedly, her husband saw and said fiercely: “Why do you take my clothes? Don’t touch my wallet.” Xiaoyu usually tidied up his clothes in the same way at ordinary times, but she never saw his such strong reaction. What was wrong with him? Seeing her husband’s unusual behavior, Xiaoyu felt bewildered and said thoughtlessly: “So what? Why can’t I touch your wallet? Have you done something disgraceful?” He said nervously: “Nothing! You’re talking nonsense.” Her husband’s nervous and guilty look surprised Xiaoyu and so she couldn’t wait to open his wallet. As expected, she found a slip of paper with a strange phone number and on its back side was written the word “wife.” She stared and questioned her husband right away: “Who is the ‘wife?’ Have you had an affair outside?” Her husband quickly looked away from her, not daring to look at Xiaoyu. He faltered for quite a while and could explain nothing. Xiaoyu knew that her husband was a quick person, who couldn’t behave like this if he didn’t do something wrong. His dissemblance even more proved what Xiaoyu had said.

For a moment, Xiaoyu was burning with anger, so much so that she couldn’t speak out any words. She immediately felt her husband became strange to her. She was very sad and disappointed, thinking: Over these years, I have paid all the price for this family, yet my husband doesn’t simply know what is good or bad and has an affair outside. Too much puzzlement welled up her heart, almost causing her to break down. But she wouldn’t tolerate the slightest offense, thinking: Since my husband has had an affair with a woman outside, then we can’t live on together. There is no other way but to divorce. … However, at the thought that her once happy family would break up, Xiaoyu was very reluctant. Her tears couldn’t help flowing down and the heart-piercing pain struck her every nerve. In pain, Xiaoyu could only keep crying out to God in her heart. …

In the evening, Xiaoyu walked alone on the road. The cold wind roared, blowing through her coat. She felt rather ice-cold and couldn’t help but shiver. Under the dim street lamps, Xiaoyu saw on both side of the road were homes with blazing lights, which looked so warm. She couldn’t help thinking of her own home that was also once as warm as these ones. But now it would break up. She felt pretty miserable and past scenes appeared before her eyes.

Xiaoyu and her husband once worked in a factory. At that time, he was a man of few words, spoke little to girls, and was very diligent to do anything in the factory. When some honest colleagues were bullied, he would always speak for them. Xiaoyu felt he was upright and kind-hearted. Though many people introduced marriage partners who were all better off than him to Xiaoyu, she still refused all because she was attracted to his honesty. Then Xiaoyu chose to marry him who was very poor regardless of the objection of her family.

Afterward, Xiaoyu took out all her savings to do business. One year later, their elder son was born and her husband even more did everything both inside and outside of the family. After the birth of their younger son, Xiaoyu was in poor health and her husband helped to take care of their children while managing the business, without any complaint. Later on, as their business suffered losses several times on end, Xiaoyu managed to raise money and strived to build up their business with her husband. They supported each other and walked until today. In addition, their two children were about to graduate from colleges. The whole family were living a progressively better life. Not fairly rich as such a life was, Xiaoyu felt very happy. But never had she thought that her husband who had struggled with her through thick and thin for twenty-five years actually betrayed her.

Thinking of this, Xiaoyu had her vision blurred by tears. She never understood: Before, her husband was always considerate of her and never joked with other women. The neighbors even praised him as a model husband. How could such an honest man have an affair? The more she thought, the more grieved she was. Now that all the price she had paid so many years was just in return for the marital infidelity of her husband, she was filled with hatred for him, thinking: Since you treat me like this, I will also let you suffer by telling your affair to your family and our sons. I will let our sons hate you and drive you away from this family, never to see you again. But then she thought she was a believer in God and should not do that. In misery, Xiaoyu kept calling on to God: “O God! My husband has an affair. I hate him and I’m also broken-hearted. I don’t know how to face this matter. God! …”

Unknowingly, Xiaoyu already arrived at the door of her home. She had hardly opened the door when her husband stood up and said humbly: “The food became cold. I have heated it up twice. Eat it quickly.” Xiaoyu didn’t respond to him but walked straight to the table and sat down in rage. Her husband hurriedly served the food and then sat aside tremblingly without speaking anything. In an instant, the air seemed frozen and it was terrifyingly quiet in the room. All that could be heard was the sigh of her husband who kept his head down. Filled with anger and hatred, Xiaoyu sat before the computer with her back toward him. And then she turned her head around and said coldly: “Have you thought it through? If you have done, let’s get divorced.” At this moment, a long sigh of her husband came from behind her. He said in a low voice: “I don’t want a divorce, and I have never thought of divorce. Don’t be so angry. I did you a wrong, but now I know it’s my fault. Presently, our children still need money to finish their studies, so I have to work to make money. After more than half a year, they will graduate, and as soon as they finish their studies, I will leave least you get annoyed at the sight of me. These few days I also don’t feel well in my heart, living in trance. Even when I go to work, I feel ill at ease and often make mistakes. …” He choked with sobs and, after speaking that, he went to the bedroom.


Her husband’s words touched Xiaoyu to the quick. When she saw that her husband often sighed and looked upset, how wasn’t she miserable in her heart? Due to her husband’s betrayal, they two seemed like strangers, each living in torment. And their family also lost the warmth and harmony of times past. In pain and helplessness, Xiaoyu remembered God’s words say: “This is because Satan is right there beside you, its eyes fixed on you constantly. It likes it when disaster strikes you, when calamities befall you, when nothing goes right for you, and likes it when you are caught in Satan’s net.” God’s words sobered her up somewhat: At any time, Satan is by our side, monitoring everything in our lives. As long as we are weak and distressed, it will catch the chance to disturb and harm us, aiming to make us live in darkness and thus stray away from God. Now both my husband and I suffer great torment; don’t we sink into Satan’s snare and fall for its scheme? Then, Xiaoyu calmed down and prayed to God in her heart: “O God! Thanks for Your keeping. I’m not willing to be made use of by Satan and continue living in torment. Please lead me to understand Your will and walk out of misery.”

Xiaoyu opened the book of God’s words and read: “One after another, all these trends carry an evil influence that continually degenerates man, that lowers their morals and their quality of character more and more, to the extent that we can even say the majority of people now have no integrity, no humanity, neither do they have any conscience, much less any reason. So what are these trends? You cannot see these trends with the naked eye. When the wind of a trend blows through, perhaps only a small number of people will become the trendsetters. They start off doing this kind of thing, accepting this kind of idea or this kind of perspective. The majority of people, however, in the midst of their unawareness, will still be continually infected, assimilated and attracted by this kind of trend, until they all unknowingly and involuntarily accept it, and are all submerged in and controlled by it. For man who is not of sound body and mind, who never knows what is truth, who cannot tell the difference between positive and negative things, these kinds of trends one after another make them all willingly accept these trends, the life view, the life philosophies and values that come from Satan. They accept what Satan tells them on how to approach life and the way to live that Satan ‘bestows’ on them. They have not the strength, neither do they have the ability, much less the awareness to resist.

From God’s words, Xiaoyu realized: In this age when evil trends prevail, without understanding of the truth or discernment about negative things, we can only blindly pursue and worship all kinds of evil trends raised up by Satan, such as “Seize the day for pleasure, for life is short,” “It’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all,” “Have a wife and mistresses too,” and some other fallacies. Influenced by these evil trends, people come to advocate wickedness, put the responsibility for their families at the back of their mind, and regard having affairs and finding mistresses as positive things, seeing them as a badge of honor instead of a scarlet letter. And they feel even more that whoever doesn’t find lovers is incapable. Hasn’t my husband become like this? He who used to be an honest man even ignores our twenty-five years of conjugal affection and has an affair. Hasn’t my husband been influenced by this evil trend to become such a man? Though doing such things satisfied his momentary lust, he suffered torment in the spirit, heaving deep sighs and living in trance every day. Isn’t this the result of Satan’s affliction? Xiaoyu came to understand that people who don’t come before God and without truth cannot help but live under the domain of Satan and be fooled and afflicted by it. Reflecting on herself, Xiaoyu wanted to take revenge on her husband because of his having an affair. If it hadn’t been for the timely leading of God’s words, she would have made a scene with her husband and even have made it known to all her family. In the end, her children would lose a complete family and she couldn’t also extricate herself from hatred, which would lead to the situation where every family member cannot live in peace. All that Satan does is let people be miserable, harm and torment each other; this is the means of Satan harming people. With this thought, Xiaoyu was released somewhat in her heart. She was very grateful to God for His words guiding her to gain an insight into the root cause of how her husband had an affair and see through the schemes of Satan. She was not willing to live in the fooling of Satan but willing to practice according to God’s words.

Subsequently, Xiaoyu continued to seek in God’s words and read: “The expression to forgive people seventy times seven really clarifies this point. The purpose achieved by the number in this expression is to allow people to understand the Lord Jesus’ intention at the time that He said this. His intention was that people should forgive others—not once or twice, and not even seven times, but seventy times seven. What kind of idea is this ‘seventy times seven’? It is to get people to make forgiveness their own responsibility, something they must learn, and a way they must keep. Even though this was just an expression, it served as a crucial point. It helped people deeply appreciate what He meant and find the proper ways of practice and the principles and standards in practice. This expression helped people understand clearly and gave them an accurate concept that they should learn forgiveness—to forgive without conditions and without limitations, but with an attitude of tolerance and understanding for others.

After reading God’s words, Xiaoyu saw God’s tolerance and patience for man and His substance of beauty and goodness. To forgive others seventy times seven is not emphasizing the figure, in other words, forgiveness is our responsibility and even more God’s requirement for us. Faced with her husband having an affair, even though he wanted to repent, she still kept unrelenting because she couldn’t tolerate any offense or let her marriage have any stain. She saw that she had no love, nor had forgiveness and understanding for her husband. God’s words pointed out a way of practice for her: The attitude God takes in treating people is the truth she should put into practice. She carefully considered: Her husband is not a man without conscience. What he did was just a moment of confusion. He has known his fault and has been willing to repent. Tolerance should be given to him for his repentance. At the thought of this, Xiaoyu felt released in her heart.

The silver moonlight softly shone through the window and penetrated into this silent home, of which every corner seemed to regain the warm atmosphere. Xiaoyu came before God and prayed: “O God! I’m willing to practice according to Your words and learn to forgive my husband. God! Please grant me courage. I’m willing to put aside the hatred in my heart to communicate with my husband. May You lead me.” After praying, Xiaoyu actively walked into the room and said to her husband: “Since you know you’re wrong, never do such things. You know what consequence this will bring to our family and how great harm it will bring to our children. And we will lose this harmonious and complete family. Today, were it not for the leading of God’s words, I wouldn’t forgive you. If only you no longer do such things, I can put aside the past.” Covered in the quilt, her husband whispered: “I know I’m wrong. I promise I’ll never make such mistakes. Trust me!” From then onward, her husband took the initiative to do housework and he never contacted that woman again. Calm returned to their life. Over time, Xiaoyu no longer hated her husband but forgave his infidelity. The life of their family got back to normal.

Xiaoyu sighed with emotion, thinking: How many families have broken apart as a result of the attack of evil trends; how many children have lost the care of their parents. Facing the crisis in my family, without the guidance of God’s words, I would rely on my temper to make a scene with my husband, eventually leading our family into separation from each other. Today, it was the guidance of God’s words that let her see through the evil substance of Satan and avoid falling into its scheme. It was also God’s words that granted her the way of practice, allowing her to put aside the hatred for her husband, learn forgiveness, and treat what she had encountered based on God’s words. This gave her a relaxed life. Without the leading of God’s words, her family would be in disrepair like broken glass, and it wouldn’t be possible for her whole family to live in harmony. Xiaoyu understood from her heart that it was God who kept her family.

Maybe you also like to read: Examine My Life Anew After Being Betrayed by Husband

Chat With Us!

The Lord Jesus has returned. Do you want to learn more?

Bible Reading Made Easy App: Read the Bible Anytime and Walk With the Lord
Free app available for iOS and Android