By Gan Cao
Xiao Lei is a post-80s boy. He always likes asking why. In the vast and dazzling world, there are too many wonderful things which attract him deeply, and lead him onto a path of searching for the root. Since he had memory, he often thought: Who am I? Where does my thought come from? Why do I exist in this world?
Xiao Lei remembered his mother said that before he was born, she had been pregnant once, and it was a girl. But she miscarried during pregnancy. So Xiao Lei thought if his mother hadn’t miscarried at that time, whether he would have existed in the world or not. As a child, he could think of such deep questions, which must be said that it was driven by instinct. However, as for his confusion, no one had ever given him an answer, and it seemed that no one could be able to give him the answer.
Gradually, Xiao Lei grew up. As a sensible boy, he didn’t ask such questions anymore, but deep in his heart, he was still longing for the answer. Such confusion, like an inextricable knot, haunted him. Even if he knew maybe he would never get the answer, he was still searching in the depth of his heart.
When Xiao Lei was five, there was an accident. He put a small iron bar with pointed ends in his mouth for fun. Unexpectedly, he swallowed it. The adults took him to the hospital in a hurry. After an X-ray examination, the doctor said, “The kid’s intestines are too thin. This stuff can easily stick in his intestines; he may need surgery to take it out.” Hearing the doctor’s words, the adults were all frightened. Thinking that Xiao Lei would face such fate at such a young age, they all didn’t know what to do. However, to everyone’s surprise, the iron bar seemed to have eyes in Xiao Lei’s belly; it passed smoothly through his stomach and intestines and was excreted. The adults were all very happy and said he was a lucky dog, a blessed child. Then this thing was hidden deep in his heart all the time, and he felt as if there was an invisible God protecting him, and even he himself could not say clearly why he had such feeling. However, the feeling was so real.
Xiao Lei grew up with the feeling. No matter where he went, he was always full of the sense of security in his heart.
After Xiao Lei went to school, the teacher told him, “Man has evolved from apes, all lives were created by Mother Natural, and all are according to the laws of nature.” Xiao Lei didn’t like such conclusion. Even though the teacher said vividly and it seemed that there wasn’t any flaw, but he was unwilling to accept such answer from his heart. His hanging heart never got any comfort all the time. He was still searching and searching for the answer …
Afterward it was the time for Xiao Lei to take the college entrance exam. In order to make him pass the exam and have a good future, his families made offerings, praying all gods to bless him. Ridiculously, he did not pass the exam, but even performed worse, not getting the score as usual. The brutal reality gave him a lesson. When he got home and looked at the “gods” on the table, suddenly, he laughed. In his opinion, with images and names respectively, these gods have mouths, but cannot speak, feet but cannot walk. Each of them is just made of clay. Can they really bless people, or bring them happiness and a good fate? Countless facts have proved: No! They can only fool ignorant people, and even bring disasters to them. However, why do people fervently believe in these clay idols? Meantime, Xiao Lei thought of his guardian God. He believed that the God who cared for and protected him day and night was unique, and could not be matched by any of these clay idols.
The God, whom Xiao Lei searched for deep down in his heart, always quietly guarded him to grow up healthily and to prevent confusion of fake gods. He strongly believed in the existence of the God who guarded him. However, to Xiao Lei’s surprise, the God whom he had never seen “met” him in a wonderful way …
One day, Xiao Lei’s mother said to him excitedly, “Don’t you want to know where you came? I know the answer!” Xiao Lei looked at his mother strangely. She continued, “In fact, man’s breath was given by the Creator. I only gave you the flesh, but your soul, your thought, the breath you exhale, and even all that you have were bestowed by the Creator. In the beginning, God formed from clay the ancestors of mankind-Adam and Eve, and bestowed upon them the breath of life, so they became a living being possessed of a spirit. And then there is mankind like us….” Xiao Lei was very curious to what his mother said. Feeling sudden, but he couldn’t think of any reason to refute. Without giving him much time to think, his mother handed him a book, and told him, “This is the utterance of the Creator. Today the Creator has become flesh again, and appeared to mankind in the name of Almighty God. This is the reappearance of the Savior who has been long yearned for by mankind. In this book, God expresses all the truths mankind needs to be saved, exposes the source of mankind’s life, man’s beginning and future, the management plan of God’s saving mankind, and the mysteries of His creation of the heavens and earth and all things, and so on. Come and read it.” Xiao Lei took over the book with both hands, looking carefully at the name of the book-The Word Appears in the Flesh. The desire of searching for the root prompted him to open the book at once, and he read,
“God created this world and brought man, a living being unto which He bestowed life, into it. In turn, man came to have parents and kin and was no longer alone. Ever since man first laid eyes on this material world, he was destined to exist within the ordination of God. It is the breath of life from God that supports each living being throughout his growth into adulthood. During this process, none believe that man lives and grows up under the care of God. Rather, they hold that man grows up under the love and care of his parents, and that his growth is governed by the instinct of life. This is because man knows not who bestowed life or from whence it came, much less how the instinct of life creates miracles. Man knows only that food is the basis of the continuation of life, that perseverance is the source of existence of life, and that the belief in his mind is the wealth of his survival. Man does not feel the grace and provision from God. Man then squanders the life bestowed upon him by God…. Not one man whom God looks upon day and night takes the initiative to worship Him. God continues to work as He has planned on man for whom He holds no expectations. He does so in the hope that one day, man will awaken from his dream and suddenly comprehend the value and purpose of life, understand the cost at which God has given man everything, and know how fervently God longs for man to turn back to Him” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).
“How many creatures are there living and reproducing in the vast expanse of the universe, following the law of life over and over, adhering to one constant rule. Those who die take with them the stories of the living, and those who are living repeat the same tragic history of those who have died. And so mankind can’t help but ask itself: Why do we live? And why do we have to die? Who is in command of this world? And who created this mankind? Was mankind really created by Mother Nature? Is mankind really in control of its own fate? … For thousands of years mankind has asked these questions, over and over again. Unfortunately, the more that mankind has become obsessed with these questions, the more of a thirst he has developed for science. Science offers brief gratification and temporary enjoyment of the flesh, but is far from sufficient to free mankind of the solitariness, loneliness, and barely-concealed terror and helplessness deep within his soul. Mankind merely uses scientific knowledge that the naked eye can see and the brain can comprehend to anesthetize his heart. Yet such scientific knowledge cannot stop mankind from exploring mysteries. Mankind does not know who is the Sovereign of all things in the universe, much less does he know the beginning and future of mankind. Mankind merely lives, perforce, amidst this law. None can escape it and none can change it, for among all things and in the heavens there is but One from everlasting to everlasting who holds sovereignty over everything. He is the One who has never been beheld by man, the One whom mankind has never known, in whose existence mankind has never believed, yet He is the One who breathed the breath into mankind’s ancestors and gave life to mankind. He is the One who supplies and nourishes mankind for its existence, and guides mankind up to the present day. Moreover, He and He alone is whom mankind depends on for its survival. He holds sovereignty over all things and rules all living beings beneath the universe. He commands the four seasons, and it is He who calls forth wind, frost, snow, and rain. He gives mankind sunshine and brings the coming of night. It was He who laid out the heavens and earth, providing man with mountains, lakes and rivers and all the living things within them. His deed is everywhere, His power is everywhere, His wisdom is everywhere, and His authority is everywhere. Each of these laws and rules are the embodiment of His deed, and every one of them reveals His wisdom and authority. Who can exempt themselves from His sovereignty? And who can discharge themselves from His designs? All things exist beneath His gaze, and moreover, all things live beneath His sovereignty. His deed and His power leave mankind with no choice but to acknowledge the fact that He really does exist and holds sovereignty over all things” (“Man Can Only Be Saved Amidst the Management of God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).
The words of Almighty God nourish Xiao Lei’s heart like spring rain; the words of God are so warm and powerful. At this moment, the knot kept in his heart for years has finally been untied. His heart feels incomparably bright and steadfast. He seems to see that the God who has guarded him, is now standing before him and speaking to him, telling him God’s wonder and deeds. At this very moment, the God becomes so real. He finally understood that behind all things there is a Creator who holds sovereignty over all things, and mankind was created by God and lives in God’s ordination and sovereignty. The guardian God he felt when he was young is the Creator
Almighty God. It is the God who has been around him and protected him quietly all the time, and bestowed upon him everything. He also realized that all things in the wonderful universe and incomparable natural phenomena are all the Creator’s masterworks. They were carefully arranged by the Creator, but not existed accidentally or formed naturally. Even though no one can see or know God, He is still caring for the mankind He created all the time, saving so many people out of crises and protecting so many people from dangers…. Xiao Lie counts God’s wonderful deeds, and gratitude welled up in his heart. He cries silently in his heart, “Oh, Almighty God! You are my Savior! I have finally found You!”
From now on, Xiao Lei’s heart has the root, and he will no longer drift, search, or be confused because he has finally understood that the Creator is the source of man’s life, and what the value and meaning of life is…
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