By Zhu Li
Regardless of the dissuasion of her parents and friends, Xinping got married to her boyfriend with determination. After marriage, their life was satisfying. Her husband treated her well, which she always cherished and be thankful for. She believed that it was the sweet and happy life she longed for. In order to create a happy family, she cared for her husband heart and soul, thought about him first in all matters, and handled all their family affairs by herself without troubling him.
Later, her husband found a management job in a KTV. In the beginning, he would return home immediately after work. Yet gradually he came back later and later and she often couldn’t reach him on his cellphone. Although she sensed his unusual behavior, she didn’t think too much about it and just thought: He must be very busy during his night shift, so he couldn’t have the chance to cheat on me.
Once, her husband went to work and didn’t come back until the next morning. Then Xinping jokingly said: “Why did you come back so late? Are you having an affair?” Unexpectedly, he actually answered indifferently: “Yes, I am. Since our daughter was born, you’ve focused all your mind on her and no longer treat me as before while that woman cares about me.” Such words hit her suddenly like a whack on her head. Holding back the agony in her heart, she said against her will: “If you like her, I’ll make way for her.”
“I don’t like her, but if I break up with her now, she’ll surely commit suicide. Give me some time, and I’ll find a chance to end the relationship with her,” said her husband.
Although agreeing on her lips, Xinping felt extremely painful in her heart. Faced with his betrayal, she felt greatly tormented within. When her husband was out, she couldn’t fall asleep at night and bathed her face in tears every day. She was so pained and depressed that she actually had white hairs just in her twenties.
One night, that woman kept calling Xinping’s husband and even came to their house. The moment she stepped into the room, she began to hit Xinping with her cellphone, kicked her and then grabbed her hair. Xinping was so furious that she fought with that woman, during which she scratched that woman’s arm. Seeing this, her husband actually came to the defense of that woman, which broke Xinping’s heart so deeply that she was about to fall apart. She didn’t know why her marriage got like this and couldn’t help wondering: Will our family break up? What about my daughter? How could my life be like this? So pained and helpless was she that she got herself drunk on two bottles of wine at home, after which she called her husband, hoping that he could care for her. However, as soon as he came back and saw that she was fine, he went away immediately and didn’t return that night. His callousness once again pierced her unhealed heart.
Afterward, beyond her expectation, her in-laws were on that woman’s side; in order to fix her husband up with that woman, her mother-in-law, together with her sister-in-law, actually inquired everywhere trying to make a match for her, which rubbed salt into her wounds. Thinking that her wholehearted care and sacrifice for the family were actually repaid with such a cruel treatment, Xinping suddenly felt that there was no one understanding and comforting her.
Just when Xinping was in agony and despair, God’s kingdomcame upon her. During a gathering with brothers and sisters, she poured out all her pain and grievance, after which brothers and sisters all came to comfort and encourage her, asking her not to lose hope in life. After brothers and sisters fellowshiped about with her, she came to know: All of mankind has been corrupted by Satan, so that our society has become more and more wicked and we mankind more and more selfish; there is no genuine love but only transactions and interests among people and even among friends and married couples. What she had experienced was just an example: When she treated her husband whole-heartedly, he loved her, while when she focused all her attention on her daughter, he betrayed her. This made her see clearly that the love between married couples is really selfish and conditional without understanding, tolerance or consideration. Now God comes to save us mankind who are deeply afflicted by Satan, allowing us to break free from Satan’s bondage, affliction and trickery. As these words of God say: “The Almighty has mercy on these people who suffer deeply. At the same time, He is fed up with these people who have no consciousness, because He has to wait too long for the answer from humans. He desires to seek, seek your heart and your spirit. He wants to bring you food and water and to awaken you, so you are no longer thirsty, no longer hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel the desolation of this world, do not be perplexed, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time. He is watching by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day your memory suddenly recovers: becoming conscious of the fact that you came from God, somehow and somewhere once lost, falling unconscious on the roadside, and then, unknowingly having a father. You further realize that the Almighty has been watching there, awaiting your return all along. He longs bitterly, waiting for a response without an answer. His watching is priceless and is for the heart and the spirit of humans. Perhaps this watching is indefinite, and perhaps this watching is at its end. But you should know exactly where your heart and spirit are now” (“The Sighing of the Almighty”).
These words of God touched Xinping’s heart and made her think of herself: She was the one who got lost as said in God’s word. In order to have a blissful marriage and a happy family, she, putting her husband above all in all matters, cared for and thought about him intently. But in return, he actually betrayed and deceived her without considering her feelings. Despite his betrayal, she still waited bitterly for him to have a change of heart, only to be cheated and hurt time and again. Thinking of these, Xinping couldn’t help sighing: Yes. I was created by God and it’s He who took me to the world; only God has true love and can give me a happy and joyful life. At that moment, her broken heart was warmed by God’s genuine love and then she prayed silently to God in tears: “O God, I’m so exhausted and miserable under Satan’s affliction; my heart is too distant from You; today hearing Your motherly call, I’m willing to return before You and accept Your salvation and guidance, no longer keeping You waiting.”
Afterward, she read another passage of God’s word, which says: “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him. Man’s disposition becomes more vicious by the day, and there is not a single person who will willingly give up anything for God, not a single person who will willingly obey God, nor, moreover, a single person who will willingly seek the appearance of God. Instead, under the domain of Satan, man does nothing but pursue pleasure, giving himself over to the corruption of the flesh in the land of mud” (“To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God”). After reading these words, Xinping felt deeply about them. Thinking back to her miserable experience in marriage, she truly experienced the wickedness and desolation of this world: In the world ruled by Satan, there is no true love among people. No matter how intimate we are with each other, when the key moment comes, we all will be for ourselves, and even abandon our conscience and humanity. Just like what happened to her, it was her husband who betrayed their marriage, yet no one in his family spoke for or understood her; instead, they tried every means to drive her out of the family. In contrast, in, brothers and sisters cared for, encouraged and helped her; none of them despised or excluded her. From this, Xinping saw that only when we live in God’s house can we gain the true love. At this moment, Xinping’s heart brightened up and was consoled. Under Satan’s affliction, she was so miserable and exhausted and no longer wanted to vie and fight for herself. No matter what her husband would do in the future, she decided to accept the fact and obey God’s manipulations and arrangements.
Finally, Xinping’s husband didn’t return and they divorced. Though having a failed marriage, she was still fortunate. For what she lost was just a man who didn’t love her while what she gained was the love of God.
Later Xingping began to recall her own experience: Brought up in a family full of violence, she hoped to find a good husband and lead a happy and peaceful life when growing up. With such a sweet dream about future, she had two boyfriends who both left her for different reasons; their departure broke her heart. When she was in great sorrow, she met her ex-husband. She originally thought that she could lead a happy life as long as she treated him with a true heart. However, her true heart was repaid with his deceit and betrayal. Although deeply hurt by him, she still hoped that she could win his heart back with her tolerance and patience. For deeply in her heart, she, influenced by the sayings like “Life is precious, but love is more valuable,” “True love is never regretful,” believed that there is true love in the world, and that as long as she paid all her efforts, she would gain the love of her own. However, she was not aware that these thoughts and views were poisons instilled in her by Satan, which made her unable to discern good from evil. When she acted according to those thoughts and views of Satan, she only received harm and endless sorrows.
Then Xinping’s thoughts turned to those who didn’t. Some of them fought with others all day for emotional problems, which finally led to many tragedies of murder. Although they revenged themselves on others, they were imprisoned and some even paid the price with their lives. Thinking of this, Xinping deeply felt that it was so horrible to live by Satan’s poisons, for we would be devoured by Satan at any time. At this moment, she was very grateful to God for His selection of her. Through the leading of God’s word and the fellowship of brothers and sisters, she finally saw through such a trick of Satan, avoiding being devoured by it.
It is already four years since Xinping divorced her husband, during which she throws herself into performing her duty every day, and often has meetings with brothers and sisters and shares experiences with them. Living in this way, she is enriched and happy in her heart and feels assured and enjoyable within. Now Xinping has realized that the reason why she always failed to find the true happiness in the world and even was hurt badly was that she sought in the wrong direction. Since the whole world is under Satan’s domain, how could we find the true happiness? Now, when she returns before God and begins to worship the Creator, she feels comforted and released within and appreciates that taking God’s word as the basis of our existence is indeed the true happiness. As God’s word says: “God can only come into your heart if you open it up to Him. You can only see what God has and is, and you can only see His will for you, if He has come into your heart. At that time, you will discover that everything about God is so precious, that what He has and is is so worthy of treasuring. Compared to that, the people that surround you, the objects and events in your life, and even your loved ones, your partner, and the things you love, are hardly worth mentioning. They are so small, and so lowly; you will feel that no material object will ever be able to draw you in again, and they cannot get you to pay any price for them again. In God’s humility you will see His greatness and His supremacy; moreover, in something He had done that you believed to be quite small, you will see His infinite wisdom and His tolerance, and you will see His patience, His forbearance, and His understanding of you. This will produce in you a love for Him. … When that day comes, I believe that there will be some people who say:is so great, and His essence is so holy—in God there is no deceit, no evil, no envy, and no strife, but only righteousness and authenticity, and everything that God has and is should be longed for by humans. Humans should strive for and aspire to it” (“God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself III”).
Maybe you also like to read: Knowing God – No Longer Sorrow for Disappointed Love
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