Siyu was briskly tapping keyboard of her laptop. Li Na came to her lightly from behind, and passed her a package. Looking at the shape of the package, Siyu smiled excitedly, thinking that it must be the second-hand laptop that she asked a friend to buy for Aunt Liu. Siyu eagerly opened the package, and the very moment she zipped the bag open, she cried out: “Wow! Looky here, Li Na. What a beautiful laptop it is! And it’s red.” Li Na quickly came up and looked at it. The laptop has a red frosted appearance with a little red lamp on its cover. When the laptop is turned on, the little red lamp can light up dazzlingly. Besides, there is a red button in the middle of the keyboard. “Wow, this is a ThinkPad with a red TrackPoint!” Said Li Na in surprise, “A friend of mine owns one, too. She told me it was great and worked well.” After hearing Li Na’s words and seeing the look of admiration on her face, Siyu was sure that this laptop was peculiar, and she even more couldn’t put it down.
After the excitement, Siyu remembered that this laptop was bought for Aunt Liu and sooner or later it would be sent to her. For a split second, Siyu’s heart hit bottom and she sank into a dilemma: If I send the laptop to Aunt Liu, it is not easy to come by such a satisfying laptop once more. But if I do not, I don’t know how to explain to her. What should I do? Siyu kept thinking fast: The aunt only asked me to help her buy a laptop, but she had no preference in the type and brand. Maybe I can exchange my laptop with hers. Both of them are second-hand, so it shouldn’t matter. Besides, the aunt is aged; maybe she doesn’t like such bright color. My laptop is black, and it was only bought less than a month ago and was 200 yuan cheaper than hers; if I give her mine, I can save her some money. It’s favorable to both of us. Why could we not do it?
After thinking it over, Siyu was cheerful. She felt it was a good idea, so she quickly put away her own laptop and began to try using this ThinkPad with the red TrackPoint button on it. And the more she used it, the more she liked it. And in her heart, she had treated this ThinkPad as her private property. But somehow, she always had a feeling of unease, which made her have to stop working. Siyu thought that she was a Christian and that the uneasiness in her heart must not be occasional. So she came before God and prayed: “God, today I find the aunt’s laptop is beautiful and I also like its style. I planned to exchange my laptop with hers. But I was quite uneasy. God, here must lie Your will. May You guide and enlighten me to know it.” After the , Siyu opened the book of , and a passage of God’s word appeared before her eyes: “For example, if I get out a bag of something and tell you, ‘Take this bag of things to My friend,’ and I haven’t told you what it is, and haven’t opened it to show you, how would you handle it? (Take it directly to that person and hand it over.) (Give it to the person I was asked to give it to.) What kind of handling of this situation would earn someone’s trust? (Deliver it without even disturbing the seal.) … And what is even more infuriating? ‘Two days ago, I just happened to be short of what you wanted me to deliver, and I used it.’ How was this handled? The person said nothing after he used it up. Not only did he not deliver, but he used it up. When the other person has him take something to deliver, they say, ‘Give me word about it soon!’ There is no word, for days, and nothing happens. What kind of person is this? (A person who does not care about trustworthiness and who does not have integrity.) Would you say that a person without integrity, who does not worry about trustworthiness, who is not reasonable, deserves trust? (No.) Does a person unworthy of trust have normal humanity? (No.) Can a person who does not have normal humanity be called a person? (No.) Then what kind of thing is he? It’s a bit much if you say he is an animal. It’s a little excessive to demote a person to the status of animal for how he delivers something. That is making too much out of a small thing and putting a broad label on him, and it is not quite fitting. But, if you say he’s not a person, what on earth is he? (He does not have humanity.) After all, he’s nothing good” (“A Person Can Live Life With Dignity Only by Submitting to and Revering God”). Every sentence of God’s words struck into Siyu’s heart and made her ashamed. All her joy vanished without trace. Because she just fellowshiped these words with brothers and sisters in a meeting some days before when she thought she had a good humanity and would never do this way. But before the facts of today, Siyu found she also was a person with a low character. She thought: This laptop was clearly bought for the aunt, so it belonged to the aunt. But I had greedy thoughts and wanted to possess it by secret and underhanded methods, just because this laptop looks more beautiful than mine. The aunt never met me and only knew me from my friends, yet she trusted me so much that she asked me to help her buy a laptop. However, in order to satisfy my own interest, I could forget all moral principles. I was so selfish and despicable, and was untrustworthy. Where is there any integrity and dignity? And I called myself someone who believes in God, while I brazenly deceived God. The More Siyu thought, the more distressed she was. So she immediately came before God to repent and confess.
The next day, Siyu told Li Na her ugly thoughts and said that she was willing to send the laptop to the aunt. Li Na seemed to read her mind, and said: “If you really like the laptop, you can tell the truth of two laptops and your true thoughts to the aunt, and see how she chooses it.” Li Na’s suggestion made her vanished desire burn again. She thought: Right. Maybe the aunt doesn’t like this ThinkPad with a red TrackPoint on it, and I still can possess it. So, Siyu immediately edited a message to the aunt. But on the next day, she found the message hadn’t been sent out. At this time, Siyu couldn’t calm herself down. She thought: Things I encounter every day are permitted by God. Maybe what I do is not in line with .
In her search, she saw another passage of God’s word: “Are your goals made with Me in mind? Do your words and actions stand in My presence? I examine all your thoughts. Do you not feel guilty? You put on a false front for others to see and you calmly assume an air of self-righteousness; this is done to shield yourself. You do this to conceal your evil, and even look for ways to push that evil onto someone else. What treachery dwells in your heart!” (“The Thirteenth Utterance”). Reading these words, Siyu’s confused heart became awake. She realized that God examines the heart of man. Her base thoughts couldn’t escape from God’s eyes. Though she wrote the truth of the two laptops in the message and it sounded reasonable outwardly, she didn’t tell the aunt her thoughts about this ThinkPad with a red TrackPoint embedded in the keyboard Because she thought it was too embarrassed to directly express herself, she wrote some unclear words and tried to let the aunt make her own choice. In this way, even if the aunt forsakes this ThinkPad, it has nothing to do with her and no one can censure her. Siyu realized that in order to gain personal benefit, she displayed treacheries and tried to blind others’ eyes by a false appearance to cheat people and God.
Seeing such a humanity of herself, Siyu felt very bad in her heart, and abhorred herself somewhat. At the same time, she felt confused: She also wants to do according to God’s word and live out a normal humanity. But why it is not that way when she did it? Later on, Siyu saw a passage of fellowship: “Now, the interpersonal relationships of all people are not normal. This is mainly because people have been deeply corrupted by Satan. They are of extremely low character. They seek only profit, focus exclusively on taking advantage of others when handling things, and have their own ulterior motives for everything. They live for themselves and for their flesh” (“What Problems Need to Be Resolved Primarily by Reading God’s Word?”). After finished reading this passage of fellowship, Siyu understood that the reason was because her satanic disposition was too deep-rooted that the Satan’s poison of “Every man for himself and the devil takes the hindmost” was still controlling her heart. When she saw something she liked, she would seize it in various methods and never care for others’ feelings. God created environments for her time and again in order to change and purify her and save her to get rid of these satanic dispositions. After knowing God’s will, Siyu determined to betray her preferences and practice truth to satisfy God. She firmly deleted the message that she hadn’t sent out, packaged the ThinkPad with the red trackpoint, intending to send it to the aunt on the second day.
Acting this way made Siyu feel secure and happy. Her heart was full of gratitude toward God. Siyu knew: It is God’s word that timely prevented her from making the wrong choice, and it is even God’s word that guided her to understand: Only by maintaining a heart of reverence for God and seeking God’s will and requirements on the matters we encounter, can we cast away our satanic corrupt disposition to live out a true human likeness, making ourselves live with integrity and dignity. Just as God’s word says, “The more you put it into practice, the more you will feel how lovable and practical God is. People see the work that God does and the words that He utters as simple and easy to understand, not deep and unfathomable—but they bring people life, and allow them to be saved. Is this not true? (Yes.) Do you have any experience of this? Putting the truth into practice is simple: Take these words and put them into practice in accordance with their literal meaning. As you do so, without you realizing it, there will be a shift in your spiritual state, your life will grow, and your knowledge of God and relationship with God will move forward, and not stay in the same place. But if you take these words as some beautiful or magnificent external accouterments of the belief in God, then you will never feel such things, and will never gain these things—this is the reality of it” (“Only With the Truth as Their Life Can People Live a Life of Value”). Under the guidance of God’s words, Siyu secretly determined: I will exert myself to pursue the truth, to cast away the satanic corrupt disposition, and to live out the likeness of a normal person.
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