By Xu Yan
In a farmyard, a baby’s birth made Xu Yan and her family bustled about cheerfully. Looking at her ten-days-old grandson, Xu Yan’s face was filled with smiles. While she was happy, she could not help recalling her bitter experience of trying to obtain this grandson.
She brought her infertile daughter to consult doctors everywhere.
Xu Yan was married with a daughter and a son. Her daughter was very obedient and sensible. She never caused her troubles and was able to help her within her ability. Xu Yan treated her as the apple of her eyes. When her daughter had reached the age of marriage, she took the trouble to find her an ideal husband. When her daughter got married, she finally felt some release. Nevertheless, her daughter had not borne a child after two years of marriage and this did worry her sick. The sight of other people holding their babies in their arms really filled her with envy. She thought: When will I be able to carry my own grandson in my arms? That would be so great! Afterword, Xu Yan took her daughter to see doctors here and there. As long as she heard where there was the treatment of infertility, she would make it there with her daughter no matter how far away it was. When western medicine didn’t work, she looked for doctors of Chinese medicine. At last, she found a Chinese medical hospital where she was promised that her daughter would be cured. She was so glad that she finally had some hope. But it turned out that after taking Chinese medicine for half a year, which cost them over ten thousand yuan, her daughter still had not got pregnant. Later, the doctor put the blame on her daughter’s obesity caused by overeating. Xu Yan took his words as fact so that she told her daughter to lose weight and stopped her from having dinner every day. At last, her daughter’s weight dropped, but she was still not pregnant.
With no other choice, Xu Yan took her daughter to the hospital for an examination, only to find that there grew a cyst as big as an egg in her uterus. This came as a great shock to her. Looking at her poor daughter, she was very miserable with her legs giving out. She thought: We are done for. There is no possibility for my daughter to get pregnant. How could she get such a disease? Xu Yan didn’t want to give up. She sorted herself out and asked: “Doctor, can this cyst disappear by taking medicines?” “No,” the doctor replied, “only surgery can remove the cyst.” “Will there be any negative effect on her pregnancy after the surgery?” she asked anxiously. “There will inevitably be some effect.” The doctor said. Xu Yan dared not to let her daughter undergo an operation. At the moment, her mind went blank and she didn’t know how she made it home from the hospital. She lost her appetite and lay in bed, unable to sleep, with the doctor’s words floating into her mind repeatedly, and she also thought about how in order to have her daughter cured, she had spent so much money, gone so much distance and sought so many doctors for help, yet ultimately achieved nothing. When thinking of this, Xu Yan wept bitterly: People all get married for the purpose of perpetuating the family line. If my daughter can’t have a child, how will her in-laws view her and treat her in the days to come? Her marriage will probably break down and her family will also fall apart. Won’t her life be over? Is there still any happiness to speak of? She may be unable to raise her head her whole life. Will she be too young to stand that? If she lives in misery, how can I, as her mother, live a peaceful life? Xu Yan trembled to think more about it. Her heart felt all kinds of mixed emotions, making her so restless that she could no longer stay in bed. She got up and paced back and forth in the room, with tears running down her face.
When she felt helpless and miserable,guided her.
At that moment, it occurred to her that she was a believer in God. So she poured out her troubles to God tearfully: “God! Faced with the infertility in my daughter, I felt so heartbroken. I don’t know what to do to be after Your heart. God! May You lead me and enlighten me so that I can understand Your will, know how to walk my road ahead, and don’t misunderstand and blame You.” After, she felt a little better. Seated before the table, she pondered when she suddenly remembered two passages of God’s words. Then she opened up the book of God’s word and read: “People go to any length for the sake of their offspring, but in the end, how many children one has, and what one’s children are like, do not answer to their plans and desires. Some people are penniless but beget many children; some people are wealthy yet have no child. Some want a daughter but are denied that wish; some want a son but fail to produce a male child.” “People’s plans and fantasies are perfect; do they not know that the number of children they have, their children’s appearance, abilities, and so forth, are not for them to decide, that their children’s fates do not at all rest in their palms? Humans are not the masters of their own fate, yet they hope to change the fates of the younger generation; they are powerless to escape their own fates, yet they try to control those of their sons and daughters. Are they not overestimating themselves? Is this not human foolishness and ignorance?”
After reading God’s words, Xu Yan thought: Right! Our fates all rest in God’s palm. I cannot control my fate, let alone that of my daughter, which is also in God’s hands. Whether and when she will bear a child, and how many children she will have are decided by God long ago. However, I was ignorant of God’s sovereignty. In order to help my daughter conceive, I looked for doctors and used various human means. I even lost my appetite and sleep for it. But what use was it? Wasn’t it asking for trouble? One’s children have their own fortunes. So, how many children my daughter will have, whether she will obtain blessings or receive misfortunes is in God’s hands. From this day on, I must learn to entrust all of this to God, obey His sovereignty and arrangements, and acted in accordance with His demands by setting aside this matter bit by bit rather than worrying about my daughter’s infertility. After understanding God’s will, her worry disappeared gradually and was not bothered about it anymore. The next day, Xu Yan said to her daughter: “You don’t need to see doctors or take that bitter medicine anymore. Let nature take its course. You will have children sooner or later if you are predestined to; otherwise, any effort will be futile. Just as the saying goes: ‘It’s difficult for one to have a child if one is not predestined to in his life.’” Her daughter agreed unexpectedly.
Since then, Xu Yan’s life returned to tranquility. She was no longer under so much pressure and felt that it’s good to take each day as it comes. Just when she was happy to obey God’s predestination and sovereignty, what her friend said threw her again into a dilemma, causing her suffering.
When sinking into misery again, she discerned the satanic poisons within her.
One day, Xu Yan ran into a friend on the road. When her friend learned about her daughter’s disease, she said: “Being not pregnant is a good thing. One of my relatives had also not been pregnant since being married years ago. Later, she got pregnant. After an examination, a cyst was discovered in the womb, which was growing along with the fetus. By the third month, the cyst had grown big and an unbearable abdominal pain started to torture her. She had to go to the hospital to be induced. Thereafter, she could never get pregnant again.” Xu Yan felt an overwhelming pain in her heart after listening to these words, and she thought: Could it be that my daughter really can never get pregnant? If that’s the case, what should she do when she grows old in the future? I might just have to let my daughter adopt a child. But nowadays, people are reluctant to have too many children. so, we may not be able to adopt a child. … At such times, Xu Yan could not refrain from feeling anxious about her daughter’s inability to bear children, and was restless and without peace. She could only kneel before God in prayer: “God, I have given You my word that I would put aside my daughter’s matters and place it in Your hands. But I haven’t actually let go of it. When I heard what my friend said, I couldn’t stop myself from worrying about my daughter and felt so much pain within. God! I’m really controlled by this matter and have no idea what to do. May You guide me.” After prayer, Xu Yan opened the book of God’s words and read: “Pernicious influences that thousands of years of ‘the lofty spirit of nationalism’ have left deep in the human heart as well as the feudal thinking by which people are bound and chained, without an iota of freedom, with no will to aspire or persevere, no desire to make progress, remaining instead passive and regressive, entrenched in a slave mentality. And so on. These objective factors have imparted an indelibly filthy and ugly cast to the ideological outlook, ideals, morality, and disposition of humanity. Humans, it would seem, are living in a terrorist world of darkness, which none among them seeks to transcend, and none among them thinks of moving on to an ideal world; rather, they are content with their lot in life, to spend their days bearing and raising children, striving, sweating, going about their chores, dreaming of a comfortable and happy family, of conjugal affection, of filial children, of joy in their twilight years as they peacefully live out their lives…. For tens, thousands, tens of thousands of years until now, people have been squandering their time in this way, with no one creating a perfect life….”
After reading God’s words, Xu Yan realized that all of her suffering was brought about by Satan. Satan corrupts us by infusing all sorts of its poisons into us such as “There are three forms of unfilial behavior, of which the worst is to have no descendants,” “Perpetuating the family line,” and “One rears children against old age,” so that we live by these words. We bustle about for our family, our children, and our descendants; we hold that a woman, if infertile and unable to bear a child for her in-laws, will be considered unfilial and be pointed at by others behind her back, and she will never be able to raise her head in her family; we also believe that if people are infertile, there will be no one to take care of them in their old age. Directed by these viewpoints of Satan, when I heard that my daughter was infertile, I was so worried and anxious. I brought my daughter to see doctors everywhere and did all I could to try to have her disease cured so that she could conceive. However, after I had spent a fortune and suffered a lot, things never changed for the better and I also inextricably lived in pain and was tortured so much that I was mentally and physically exhausted. Satan is so base and evil! After careful consideration, I saw that many people around me, though having lots of children, still divorced if they were doomed to and that there were quite a few cases that when those who had several children got old, their children were not filial to them and kicked them out of the house. Could it be that if my daughter is fertile and has children, she will definitely be happy and keep her family from breaking up? In fact, it couldn’t. If we don’t have God’s guidance and blessings but live by these Satan’s poisons and rules of living, no matter how many children we have, we cannot achieve true happiness but can only feel more pain and anxiety. Then, how should I seek to break free from Satan’s affliction and live a free and liberated life?
She found a path to practice—obeying God’s sovereignty.
When Xu Yan read God’s words, she found a way out: “There is a simplest way to free oneself from this state: to bid farewell to one’s former way of living, to say goodbye to one’s previous goals in life, to summarize and analyze one’s previous lifestyle, philosophy, pursuits, desires, and ideals, and then to compare them with God’s will and demands for man, and see whether any of them is consistent with God’s will and demands, whether any of them delivers the right values of life, leads one to a greater understanding of the truth, and allows one to live with humanity and human likeness. When you repeatedly investigate and carefully dissect the various goals of life that people pursue and their various different ways of living, you will find that not one of them fits the Creator’s original intention when He created humanity. All of them draw people away from the Creator’s sovereignty and care; they are all pits into which humanity falls, and which lead them to hell. After you recognize this, your task is to lay aside your old view of life, stay far from various traps, let God take charge of your life and make arrangements for you, try only to submit to God’s orchestrations and guidance, to have no choice, and to become a person who worships God.”
After reading God’s words, Xu Yan had a clear goal and direction. She realized: If she wants to escape from Satan’s bonds and control and lives a free and released life, all she can do is to say goodbye to her former way of living and goals in life, and lay aside her old viewpoint and base her view of things on God’s words, and deliver her and her daughter’s life in God’s hands and let God take charge of them. Xu Yan made a resolution in her heart that she would never turn back again but totally abandon Satan’s deceptions. Regardless of whether her daughter would bear children in the future, how her in-laws would view her or whether she would get divorced someday, Xu Yan was willing to entrust them to God and let Him ordain and arrange everything without having her own choice. When she was willing to submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements and acted on His words, she felt bright and much more relieved in her heart, no longer suffering from anxiety like before. She thanked God from her heart.
God blessed her daughter with bearing a child.
Half a year passed in a blink of an eye. Xu Yan learned that her daughter’s in-laws didn’t take their anger out on her because she couldn’t bear children. Xu Yan knew all of this was in God’s hands. One day, she received an unexpected call from her daughter saying that she got pregnant. Logically speaking, Xu Yan must be thrilled, but she didn’t have a good feeling about this. she thought of what her friend said about her relative who was induced after pregnancy, and was worried that her daughter would, like her relative, face danger during pregnancy, thinking: If something terrible happens to the baby, can my daughter bear such a blow? However, the thought of her previous experiences gave her to understand that there was no point in worrying, as everything is in God’s hands. Xu Yan came before God and prayed: “God! My daughter is pregnant and there is still a cyst in her uterus. Whether the baby will be lost or not is up to You. You have the final say and I place this in Your hands. Whether the baby will be born smoothly or not, I’m ready to obey Your sovereignty and arrangements without complaint.” After prayer, Xu Yan no longer felt worried and afraid but relieved in the heart. Three months after her daughter’s pregnancy, Xu Yan took her daughter to the hospital for an examination and was very surprised and touched to find that her daughter’s cyst disappeared and the unborn baby developed normally. She offered her thanks and praises to God in her heart: “God! I have seen your wonderful deeds. You are so almighty, nothing is impossible for You. You can cause something to come from nothing or something to become nothing. It is all due to Your grace that the cyst in my daughter’s uterus disappeared and the baby was able to grow smoothly.” After more than nine months of pregnancy, the baby was born healthy.
“Mom,” a voice from her daughter interrupted Xu Yan’s thought and brought her back to reality. She saw everyone was on the run. The relatives and friends came to congratulate on the birth of the baby. Some said that it was unexpected that her daughter was not cured after taking medicines, but when she stopped seeing doctors and taking medicines, she actually got well; some said that it was decreed by fate; some praised that the baby was good-looking. … Xu Yan clearly knew that all of this was controlled and arranged by God. At the point, she was reminded of a passage of God’s words: “The heart and spirit of man are held in the hand of God, and all the life of man is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear according to God’s thoughts. This is how God rules over all things.” God’s words and actions were really practical. In retrospect, she lived by Satan’s poisons, worried about and labored for her daughter, and even exhausted herself looking everywhere for doctors, yet she still failed to have her daughter bear a child. When she put it aside in her heart, sincerely obeyed God’s sovereignty and arrangements rather than opposed Him according to her own will, her daughter actually got pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby smoothly, and the cyst in her uterus disappeared miraculously. From this, she saw that God was really almighty and practical. Xu Yan offered up a grateful prayer to God: “God! Thank You. I have seen Your authority and truly realized that everything is in Your hands. Whether or not my daughter has a baby is up to no one but You. You rule over and arrange everything. God! From now on, I’m willing to fulfill my duty to repay Your love.” All the glory be to Almighty God!
1.“Content with their lot in life” indicates that people stick by the rules and do nothing that violates laws.
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