My Youth in Prison
Chenxi Hebei Province
People all say that one’s youth is the most wonderful and pure time in his . Maybe many people’s youth is full of beautiful memories, yet even I myself had never expected that I would spend my youth in prison. Maybe you will cast a different look at me, yet I won’t regret it. Although my youth in prison is full of bitterness and tears, it is the most precious gift in my life, and I have gained a lot from that.
I was born in a happy family and believed in Jesus with my mom from childhood. When I was 15 years old, my family and I were certain that is the returned Jesus, and we accepted Almighty God’s end-time work happily.
One day in April 2002, a sister and I, 17 years old, performed duty in a place. At 1 a.m., we were in a sound sleep in the host home. Suddenly we were awakened by a rapid knocking. We heard someone shout loudly outside, “Open the door! Open the door!” The auntie of the host home had barely opened the door when several cops flung it open and piled in, saying aggressively, “We’re the police.” Hearing the word “police,” I immediately became nervous: Have they come to arrest us for our believing in God? I’ve heard that some brothers and sisters were arrested and persecuted for believing in God. Will it come upon me today? At that time, my heart was thumping violently. In panic, I was at a loss. So I prayed to God hurriedly, “God! Please be with me. Give me faith and courage. No matter what happens, I’m willing to stand testimony for you. May you give me wisdom and the proper words to say. May you keep me from betraying you or selling out the brothers and sisters.” After the prayer, my heart gradually calmed down. I saw four or five evil cops rummaging through the room like bandits, searching in the quilts on the bed, every cabinet and box, and under the bed. Finally, they found the books of God’s word and the disks of hymns. The leading evil cop said to me seriously, “These things prove that you’re a believer in God. Come with us. We’ll take a statement from you and make a record.” I was startled and said, “If you have anything to say, just say it here. I don’t want to go with you.” He immediately put on a smile and said to me, “Don’t be afraid. We’ll just take a statement and you’ll be back after a while.” I believed him and got into the police car with them.
Unexpectedly, it became the starting point of my prison life.
As soon as we entered the yard of the police station, those evil cops shouted loudly to me to get out of the car. Their faces changed so fast, completely different from before. I entered into an office, and then several big cops came in. They stood on both sides of me with an aggressive manner. Their head roared at me, “What’s your name? Where are you from? How many people have come with you?” Just after I spoke two words, he darted forward and slapped me twice. I was stunned all at once. I thought, “I haven’t finished my words yet. Why do you beat me? How come you are so rude and brutal, so different from the people’s police in my imagination?” Then he continued to ask me how old I was. I told him truthfully that I was 17. Then he again slapped me hard twice, and abused that I was lying. Later, no matter what I said, he kept slapping me without reason. I saw stars and my head reeled, my ears buzzed, and my face was painfully hot. Then I finally understood that those evil cops took me there not to ask me questions at all but to let me absolutely obey them by violence. I remembered that the brothers and sisters had said before that it wouldn’t work to reason with those evil cops, which would only bring incessant disasters. Today I truly experienced it personally. Afterward, I said nothing no matter what they asked me. Seeing that I didn’t speak anything, they shouted abuses at me, “Damn you! If we don’t give you some color, you won’t confess honestly!” With those words, one of them punched my chest fiercely twice. I staggered and fell to the ground heavily. He kicked me hard twice, and then dragged me up from the ground. He loudly ordered me to kneel down. I refused, so he kicked my knees several times. With a severe pain, I flopped down on my knees. Then he pulled my hair downward hard, and then suddenly pulled it backward fiercely, so that my face was upward. As he shouted curses, he fiercely slapped me twice again. I felt faint and dizzy as if the sky and earth were spinning around and fell on the floor. Then, the head of the evil cops suddenly saw the watch on my wrist. He shouted with greedy eyes, “What’s on your wrist?” One cop immediately came up, and he grabbed my wrist, took it off forcibly, and gave it to his “master.” Seeing their base behavior, I hated them bitterly. Later when they asked me questions, I just glared at them and refused to say anything, which even more infuriated them. An evil cop seized my collar and picked me up from the ground like grabbing a chicken and roared, “You are quite tough, ah? How dare you not speak!” With the words, he punched me hard twice more. I was knocked to the ground again. At that time, I ached unbearably all over and had no strength to struggle. I lay on the ground motionless, with my eyes closed. I desperately called to God in my heart, “O God! I don’t know what other savage acts these evil cops will do to me. You know my stature is small and you know my flesh is weak. May you keep me. I would rather die than be a Judas and betray you.” As I prayed, God’s words inspired me within continuously, “You should suffer for the truth, devote yourself for the truth, endure humiliations for the truth, and endure more and more afflictions so as to gain more and more truths. This is what you should do.” (from “Peter’s Experience—His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) God’s words gave me inexhaustible strength, and made me realize that only in adverse environment could I understand and gain more truths. If I don’t undergo the physical sufferings today, I won’t see the true colors of these evil cops, and will be deceived by their appearance all along. Today God comes to the human world and works with much difficulty for the very purpose that man can gain the truth, discern black and white, right and wrong, know the differences between justice and evil, holiness and ugliness, and know who is to be hated and rejected and who is to be worshiped and looked to. Today, I have seen clearly satan’s ugly face. As long as I have one breath left, I’ll stand testimony for God and will by no means yield to the evil forces. Just at that time, I heard someone next to me say, “How come she doesn’t move? Is she dead?” Then someone purposefully stomped and ground my hand and roared ferociously, “Get up quickly! We’ll take you to another place. If you still say nothing there, you’ll suffer a lot!” As God’s words gave me faith and strength, I wasn’t frightened by their threats and was inwardly ready to fight against satan in my heart.
Then I was taken to the County Public Security Bureau. In the interrogation room, the head of the evil cops and his two attendants surrounded me and questioned me repeatedly. They paced up and down before me and forced me to sell out the church leaders and the brothers and sisters. As my answer was still not what they wanted to hear, the three of them took turns slapping me ceaselessly. I didn’t know how many times I was slapped but just heard the sound clearly in the still of the night. As their hands hurt from beating me, they used a book to slap me. My mouth tasted salty, and the blood dripped on my clothes. Finally, I couldn’t even feel the pain. I just felt that my face became swollen and numb. In the end, failing to get any valuable clues from my mouth, one evil cop took out a phone book, saying smugly, “We found it in your bag. Even if you don’t tell, we have ways all the same!” Immediately, I got extremely nervous: If the call is put through, the brothers and sisters will also be arrested, and even the church will be affected. The consequences will be disastrous. At that time, I thought of God’s words, “Almighty God is the Ruler of all matters and all things! As long as we look to him in our hearts all the time and get into the spirit to fellowship with him, he will show us all that we seek, his will will surely be revealed to us, and our hearts will have joy and peace and feel brightened and assured.” (from “The Seventh Piece of Word” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) God’s words showed me the direction and way of practice. No matter when, God is my only reliance and salvation. So, I prayed to God ceaselessly, asking him to keep those brothers and sisters. As a result, they dialed those numbers one by one, yet either nobody answered the phone or they couldn’t get through. In the end, they threw the phone book on the table with curses and stopped making phone calls. It was really God’s almightiness and sovereignty and God’s wonderful deed. I couldn’t help uttering thanks and praises to God.
But they didn’t give up and continued to question me about the church. I didn’t answer them. In exasperation, they thought of a meaner trick to fix me: An evil cop forced me to squat, and lift my arms parallel to my shoulders and not make any move. Soon, my legs began to shake and my arms couldn’t keep straight. So I stood upright in spite of myself. An evil cop with an iron stick glared at me fiercely. Just when I stood up, my legs got hit. It was so painful that I nearly knelt down on the ground. In the half an hour that followed, once my legs and arms made a slight move, he would immediately hit me with the stick. I didn’t know how many times I was beaten. As I squatted for a long time, my legs became terribly swollen, and they ached unbearably as if they were broken. Later, my legs shook more severely, and my teeth kept chattering. At that time, I deeply felt that my strength failed me, and I almost fainted. But those evil cops on the side gloated over and jeered at me like playing a monkey, and they kept laughing heinously. Seeing their ugly and base faces, I hated them more bitterly. So I suddenly stood up straight and said to them loudly, “I won’t squat anymore. You just give me a death sentence! I’m ready to give up my life today! I’m even not afraid of death. Should I be afraid of you? You several men don’t know any better. You only know to bully a young girl like me.” Unexpectedly, after I said that, those evil cops cursed me and then stopped interrogating me. At that time, I felt so excited. I realized that God was maneuvering all things to perfect me. When I got rid of fear in my heart, the environment also changed accordingly. I really experienced the inner meaning of these words of God from my heart, “This is, ‘The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turns it wherever he will.’ How much more so with those nobodies?” I understood that by allowing satan’s persecution to come upon me today, God was not to intentionally make me suffer but to let me taste the power of his word and lead me to break through the bondage of satan’s influence of darkness. Furthermore, God also wanted me to learn to rely on him and look to him in dangerous situations.
Those evil cops tortured me for over half a night. When they stopped interrogation, the day already broke. They asked me to sign, saying that they would detain me. Then an old cop said to me with false kindness, “Little sister, you’re so young. You’re in the most precious years of your life. You’d better tell us all that you know quickly. I promise to let them release you. If you have any difficulty, just tell me. You see, your face is as swollen as bread. Why suffer this?” At that time, I thought of God’s words, “Why use various kinds of tricks to cheat God’s people?” (from “Work and Entering In (8)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) And I also remembered at meetings the brothers and sisters said that to achieve their purposes, the evil cops would use various tricks, both hard and soft, to coax us. So, I said to him, “Don’t pretend to be a good person here. You are all in the same gang. What do you want me to tell you? You are interrogating me by tortures. This is illegal punishment!” Hearing that, he assumed a look of innocence and defended himself, “I didn’t hit you even once. It’s them.” I thanked God for his leading and keeping so that I overcame another temptation of satan.