By Zhenxi, China
I am a doctor. In October 2007, I accepted God’s kingdom gospel. But because I was ignorant and didn’t see through Satan’s law of survival, I still lived by its axiom that “Money isn’t everything, but without it, you can do nothing.” In order to earn more money and enjoy a better life with my family, I had been overworking for many years, unable to sleep or eat well. As a result, I completely ruined my health and was diagnosed with bone cancer and terminal lung cancer. In times of grave peril, I saw God’s wondrous deeds. It was exactly this unusual experience that made me appreciateand salvation for me, and have some knowledge of His almightiness and sovereignty. Meanwhile, my former erroneous views on pursuit were completely turned around.
Cancers bringing my life into jeopardy, my heart was suddenly awakened.
One day in 2015, I was picking up chestnuts on the mountain when my right thigh began to turn numb and painful as if it was pricked by needles, and my waist ached sharply like being fractured. Later on, I took a CT scan in the hospital. The test result showed that I got a slipped disk. I thought it was not serious and considering my salary would be docked if I asked for time off, I continued to work in the morning, and then went to have an intravenous drip and be in traction in the afternoon. But one month later, my condition still didn’t get better, so I went to a large-scale hospital for a further examination.
The result of the test showed that I was diagnosed with bone cancer and late-stage lung cancer. Faced with such a result, I was stunned, thinking: “How could I get cancers? There must be something wrong with the test. I haven’t had any symptoms before; how come I got these diseases so suddenly?” I couldn’t believe it was true. How I wished that this were just a nightmare! But the fact lay before my eyes. Later, I overheard the doctor saying to my husband: “You’ve come too late. No matter what treatment we try, she can only live for no more than two months. You’d better take her back and satisfy all her demands in her last days. …” Hearing the doctor’s words, I felt utterly desperate and thought: “As I know about the cancer, even those who are in the early stage of cancer can hardly be cured, not to mention I, who have two kinds of cancer with one has reached an advanced stage. There’s no doubt that I will die.”
I was only 49 years old. I spent half of my life earning money for my family, but at last I got nothing but cancers. At the thought that I was about to die and would leave my family forever, I felt reluctant, and couldn’t stop shedding tears of bitterness. At that moment, I genuinely appreciated the’ words: “For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?” (Luke 9:25). Later, I recalled God’s words: “People spend their lives chasing after money and fame; they clutch at these straws, thinking they are their only means of support, as if by having them they could keep on living, could exempt themselves from death. But only when they are close to dying do they realize how distant these things are from them, how weak they are in the face of death, how easily they shatter, how lonely and helpless they are, with nowhere to turn. They realize that life cannot be bought with money or fame, that no matter how wealthy a person is, no matter how lofty his or her position is, all people are equally poor and inconsequential in the face of death. They realize that money cannot buy life, that fame cannot erase death, that neither money nor fame can lengthen a person’s life by a single minute, a single second. The more people feel this way, the more they yearn to keep on living; the more people feel this way, the more they dread the approach of death. Only at this point do they truly realize that their lives do not belong to them, are not theirs to control, and that one has no say over whether one lives or dies, that all of this lies outside of one’s control.” That was true. When the death was impending over me, no matter how much money I had, it was of no avail to save my life. Over these years, I had been living by satanic poisons, like “Money makes the world go round,” and “Money is first.” In my mind, I thought that money was the support of my life, and that it could bring me everything, including a superior material life. However, when the cancers befell me, no matter how much money I had, it couldn’t save my life; only then did I realize that the truth and life were far more important than money. At that time, how much I wished to keep on living.
Death drawing closer to me, God’s light kept leading me.
Because the hospital refused to treat me, I had no choice but to go back home to recuperate. When I was in despair, hopelessly waiting for death, my brothers and sisters came to visit me after knowing my condition. They not only gave me some help in life, but also communicated with me about the truth regarding God’s omnipotence and dominion. At that time, I felt the warmth of God’s family and the love of God as well, which made me see a ray of hope. Once, I saw these God’s words: “To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. If you have but one breath, God will not let you die.” “Of everything that occurs in the universe, there is nothing that I do not have the final say in. What exists that is not in My hands?” God’s words gave me faith. “It’s true. All the things in the universe are ruled by God and my life and death are even more in His hands; the doctor doesn’t have the final say in them. Without God’s permission, even if I had but one breath, I wouldn’t die.” Then I prayed to God: “God, I know that it is because of my rebelliousness that I suffer these serious diseases. I clearly knew that man’s fate is dominated by You, but I still blindly pursued money to lead a life I desired. Consequently, I totally ruined my health. God, I’m unwilling to rebel You anymore but willing to entrust myself to You. No matter what will happen to me or when I’ll die, I’m willing to submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements. Please safeguard my heart and keep me from complaining against You.” After the prayer, I felt slightly released in my heart, not as miserable as before.
Several days later, my condition got worse. I even couldn’t sit up, nor did I have the strength to speak. As the tumor was right at the femoral head of my right leg, no matter in what position I lay, I was always in pain, so much so that I couldn’t fall asleep. My family couldn’t bear to see me suffering the torture of illness, so they sent me to the city traditional Chinese medicine hospital for treatment. On the way to the hospital, I felt tightness in my chest and my heart beat fast. My whole body felt limp and weak, and I even had no strength to breathe, feeling I would die at any time. At that moment, I could only cry out to God constantly in my heart: “God, please save me. God …” When nurses wheeled me into the ward, I was already in unconsciousness. Thanks to God’s protection, I was rescued timely. When I came round, my daughter was sitting by my bed, saying to me with tears: “Mom, thank goodness. You made it.” I also sobbed with delight, and offered my thanks to God silently, for I knew it was God who saved me from the verge of death. Later on, I was admitted to the hospital; soon afterward, the doctors performed an operation to remove my bone tumor and it was successful.
On the ninth day, I was ready to undergo the surgery on lungs. Before the surgery, the doctors examined my lungs again and surprisingly found that the tumor had shrunk to two fifths its former size. They simply couldn’t believe it and then told me that I didn’t need to have the operation. Hearing this news, our family all burst into tears with delight. At that moment, I recalled God’s words: “The heart and spirit of man are held in the hand of God, and all the life of man is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear according to God’s thoughts. This is how God rules over all things.” That was true. My fate was ruled over and controlled by God, let alone the size of the tumor. It was God’s great power that made me get better so fast, and it was His love and salvation that allowed me to survive the illness. Thus I made a resolution inwardly: No matter what will happen in the future, I should have true, rely on Him more, and obey His arrangements. Later on, under the guidance of God, I went through two rounds of chemotherapy, and left the hospital. However, five days later, something unexpected happened.
Life being on the line, God protected me again.
On the following day after I came back home, I found my gums bleeding while brushing my teeth. At first I thought it was caused by the chemotherapy, so I didn’t pay much attention to it. Unexpectedly, several days later, I suddenly felt a bit dizzy and had some petechiae on my legs. Seeing my condition, my husband immediately called the doctor in the laboratory. Then the doctor came to draw my blood and tested it. The result was that there was only two thousand and seven hundred (standard: 100-300 thousand) blood platelets left in my blood. Medically speaking, my blood could not clot properly, which meant that my life was in danger at any time. Then, not wasting any more time, we rushed to the tumor hospital. On the way, the attending doctor asked me about my blood type. I answered him that it was O. After we arrived at the hospital, when the doctor was about to give me the transfusion, he suddenly asked me again: “Are you sure that your blood type is O?” Hearing this, a thought flashed into my mind: Test again for security. After the test, it turned out that my blood type was B. The doctor got worried at once, because he only prepared the type O blood ahead; and even worse, under regulations, the application for plasma must be submitted 2 days in advance, so it’s nearly impossible to change another type blood at that time, a Sunday when only on-call doctors were in the hospital. Seeing that the doctor had no way to save me, I was very anxious. The minutes ticked by; my gums were still bleeding and more petechiae appeared on my body. If my condition continued on like this, there was no doubt that I would die. But remembering my last experience, I believed that man’s life is in God’s hands. With God’s presence, I wasn’t afraid that time. I prayed to God secretly that I was willing to commit myself to His hands and submit to His orchestrations and arrangements.
Thank God for listening to my prayer and opening a way out for me once again. One of my classmates in high school (who was the vice president of the hospital) came to visit me after knowing I was critically ill. After understanding my situation, she immediately called her husband, who was being on duty in the blood bank, and asked him to prepare two units of type B no matter what. Hearing her words, I was moved to tears because I knew that it was God who was making a way out for me. Half an hour later, the blood was sent to the doctor. That night, my symptom of bleeding got much relieved and I didn’t feel that uncomfortable as before. Later I learned that several patients died from the thrombocytopenia caused by the chemotherapy, though they had received over ten units of blood, while the hemopoiesis in my body recovered and I got better gradually with just one unit. I knew that it was because of God’s wonderful protection that I could make it. I offered my thanks to God once again, for He saved me from the death and gave me a second life. I remembered God’s words: “His deed is everywhere, His power is everywhere, His wisdom is everywhere, and His authority is everywhere. … No other thing apart from Him can command the universe, much less can it ceaselessly provide for this mankind.” It was true. God’s authority and power are everywhere and ever-present. When my life was in imminent peril because of the petechial hemorrhaging, God set up my classmate to help me: Her husband happened to be on duty at the blood bank, so I could be given a blood transfusion timely. Everything was arranged appropriately and precisely by God. His love for me was so great and I couldn’t help appreciating and praising Him from the bottom of my heart.
After several times of escape from death, I finally found the right path of life.
Because of the chemotherapy, my bones got brittle. If I continued to receive the treatment, they might be fractured and thus I would never be able to stand up. But the senior doctor still suggested that I continue with the chemo treatments and have the surgery; otherwise, my condition would get worse and the consequences would be unthinkable. After going through those junctures of life and death, I saw that it was God who mastered my life and death, and that whether my condition would get worse or not was also in His hands, not decided by anyone or any advanced medical equipment. Thinking of this, I was willing to entrust myself into God’s hands, and decided to stop chemotherapy. Three months later, I went to the hospital for an examination. It was found that the tumor had almost vanished, and that the bones destroyed by the tumor had been replaced with new ones. Under God’s wonderful protection, I was cured of my cancers though the doctor had given me up. What a miracle! And how wonderfulwas! Now I can do some light housework and fulfill the duty to the best of my abilities in the church. Seeing God’s wonderful deeds upon me, my husband also accepted God’s work of . We often read God’s words together, living a full life every day.
From this experience, I truly realized that man’s life and death aren’t controlled by himself or the doctors, but only by God, and that God is able to cause something to come from nothing, or something to become nothing. Think back to the critical time when I was struggling between life and death; it was God who used His words to guide me step by step, and gave me faith to obey His sovereignty and arrangements. It was God who mobilized people, events and things around me, leading me through the junctures of life and death. I truly saw God’s protection and wonderful deeds, and had some real knowledge of God’s almightiness and dominion. From this experience, I also understood money and other material objects which I pursued were so useless when death was staring us in the face. Now God has given me a second life, and I’m determined not to struggle for money any longer, but rather to seek after truth. I will do my utmost to fulfill my duty as a created being to repay God’s love. Thanks and praises be to God!
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