In 2007, due to a lot of pressure in my , I came to Singapore by myself to work to make a living. All year round, the climate in Singapore is very hot, so every day I would sweat profusely when I was working. It was so rough that I suffered an unspeakable amount, and on top of that it was an unfamiliar life without any relatives or friends, so I thought it to be boring and tedious. One day in August, I received a gospel leaflet on my way home from work which read: “But the God of all grace, who has called us to his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that you have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you” (1Pe 5:10). Seeing these words gave me a warm feeling in my heart. Then a brother brought me to the church, and the brothers and sisters welcomed me cordially and served me delicious food. I had worked the better part of a year since leaving home, and the warmth of family and delicious home cooked food was something that I hadn’t enjoyed in such a long time. Since I was lonely and drifting aimlessly, hot tears immediately welled up in my eyes, and in that moment I had the feeling that I was back home. From then, the church was a place I need to go every Sunday.
I was baptized in December, and formally entered the path of believing in the and of confessing and repenting for my sins. Once, in church, I heard the preacher reading from the chapter 18, verses 21-22 of Matthew: “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus said to him, I say not to you, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” After I heard this, I thought to myself: “How can the forgiveness and patience of the Lord Jesus be so great? His forgiveness for people is seventy times seven. If people were really able to achieve this, then there would be love and warmth among people!” I was very moved in my heart, and determined that I would go act in accordance with the Lord’s teachings.
In the three years since I began to believe in the Lord, I was pretty enthusiastic in going to meetings and listening to sermons. Later, my boss put me in charge of managing a construction site, so I put all my energy into my work and gradually stopped attending meetings. Afterward, at the introduction of a friend, I met a boss Mr. Li, and working together with him established a construction company. I was very happy, and made up my mind to put forth a big effort. At that time, I had gotten totally sucked into the vortex of money, and stopped going to church. To make the project succeed for people to praise my abilities, I had no love or patience for my workers and was often berating them, and even often brought the team leader to tears with my abuse. The workers all looked at me timidly, and would even run away to try to avoid me. Even people who had once been my good friends turned cold toward me and didn’t want to share the words in their heart with me anymore. It was so hard for my heart to take this treatment! The Lord Jesus taught that our forgiveness toward others should be seventy times seven. I didn’t even forgive once, so how could I even seem at all like a ? I knew what I did was wrong, and wanted to have a transformation in my heart, but all along I suffered from being directionless. When I was depressed, all I could do was pray to the Lord and say everything that was on my mind, and only then could I feel some sense of relief.
In August of 2015, we suspended business operations because the company was not doing well, and I returned home. At that time, I felt very depressed, and would get drunk and play cards all day. When my wife told me I should stop drinking, I would horribly abuse her by saying: “It’s my money, I earned it, and I’ll spend it however I want….” I cursed her so horribly, and my daughter didn’t dare to say anything, but just stood nervously on one side watching. My wife could do nothing to me but sit to the side and cry. After every time I hurt my own family like this, I regretted it but I just had no way to stop myself. In those days I had already completely lost the decency of a Christian, and my behavior and actions were just like those of an unbeliever. When I was helpless and suffering, I went back to the church again. In that period, I constantly prayed to the Lord Jesus: “Lord! I did many things that I didn’t want to do, and said many hurtful things to people. Every time I committed this sin, I regretted it. I especially hated myself, but I could never control it. I prayed and confessed my sins in the evening, but during the day I repeated the same sins, and so I’ve ended up today as someone nobody wants to have anything to do with. Everyone has drifted away from me. Oh, Lord! I beg You to save me. What should I do to finally be free of sins?”
On New Year’s day of 2016, I set foot on American soil, having come to make a living in New York. Not long after that, I went in to church to take part in a spiritual study course, and it was there that I met Sister Qing Lian. One day, Sister Qing Lian gave me a phone call to say there was some good news she wanted to tell me. I said, “What’s the good news?” She said, “A missionary has come here. Do you want to go hear him speak?” I said, “Great! Where is it?” She then arranged a time for me to go to her house.
On the day we had arranged, I went to Sister Qing Lian’s house, and Sister Zhao was there as well. I saw them using a television to play a segment of a speech: “And so I say that man’s sense has lost its original function, and that man’s conscience, too, has lost its original function.… Man’s disposition should be changed starting from the knowledge of his substance and through changes in his thinking, nature, and mental outlook—through fundamental changes. Only in this way will true changes be achieved in the disposition of man. Man’s corrupt disposition stems from his being poisoned and trampled upon by Satan, from the egregious harm that Satan has inflicted upon his thinking, morality, insight, and sense. It is precisely because these fundamental things of man have been corrupted by Satan, and are utterly unlike how God originally created them, that man opposes God and does not understand the truth. Thus, changes in man’s disposition should begin with changes in his thinking, insight and sense that will change his knowledge of God and his knowledge of the truth” (“To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God”). I was very moved upon hearing these words. “Isn’t it me they are talking about? I always looked down on others, trying to teach them this or curse them for that, without any morality or reason, and have lost the decorum of the saints.” These words all pierced me to the core of my being. I had never before read words such as these, nor had I heard any preacher speak like that. All along, I was distressed because of often committing sins, but had never been able to break out of being controlled by sin. These words showed me the path to leaving sin behind, and it was very strange to me: These words were spoken so well, but who could have written them?
Sister Zhao told me that this was the word of God, that it was the words expressed by the returned Lord Jesus, and that the Lord Jesus had already returned in the flesh! When I heard this news, I could barely believe my ears. Who among the believers in the Lord does not expect for Him to return? Now I was unexpectedly hearing the news about the Lord’s return, and I was at a complete loss: Had the Lord truly returned? I had to get the sisters to quickly fellowship to me about this. Sister Zhao said, “The Lord Jesus has truly returned, and He is incarnate. He has expressed the truth about purifying and saving people, and has started to do the work of judgment beginning with the house of God. His goal is to completely save us from the domain of Satan and to be obtained by God. In the Age of Grace, the Lord Jesus only completed the work of redemption, redeemed us from sin, and absolved our sins so that we would not be convicted under the law, but He did not eliminate our sinful nature. We are all able to learn from experience that although the Lord absolved our sins, we still suffer the chains of our sinful nature. We often sin and offend the Lord, and there is no way we can break free from the control of sin. In the past, we didn’t know why this was, and it was only by reading the word of Almighty God that we came to know it. After we were corrupted by Satan, we had already become full of the corrupt disposition of Satan, such as being arrogant, conceited, crooked, treacherous, selfish, contemptible, greedy, malicious, and so on. Controlled by these corrupt dispositions, people fight and scheme with each other and compete for wealth and fame, and are unable to live in harmony; they also commit sins often and resist God. In order to completely rescue people from sin, one still needs God to come and do the work of eliminating man’s sinful nature, and only then will we be able to be cleansed, saved, and obtained by God. After reading some sections of the word of Almighty God, we will understand.” Sister Zhao opened up the book of the word of God and began to read: “Though man has been redeemed and forgiven of his sins, it is only considered as God not remembering the transgressions of man and not treating man in accordance with man’s transgressions. However, when man lives in the flesh and he has not been set free from sin, he can only continue to sin, endlessly revealing the corrupt satanic disposition. This is the life that man leads, an endless cycle of sin and forgiveness. The majority of men sin in the day only to confess in the evening. As such, even if the sin offering is forever effective for man, it would not be able to save man from sin. Only half the work of salvation has been completed, for man still has corrupt disposition…” (“The Mystery of the Incarnation (4)”).
“Though Jesus did much work among man, He only completed the redemption of all and became man’s sin offering, and did not rid man of all his corrupt disposition. Fully saving man from the influence of Satan not only required Jesus to take on the sins of man as the sin offering, but also required God to do greater work to completely rid man of his disposition, which has been corrupted by Satan” (Preface).
“The sins of man were forgiven because of the work of God’s crucifixion, but man continued to live in the old, corrupt satanic disposition. As such, man must be completely saved from the corrupt satanic disposition so that the sinful nature of man is completely cast away and never again develops, thus allowing the disposition of man to be changed. This requires man to understand the path of growth in life, the way of life, and the way to change his disposition. It also needs man to act in accordance with this path so that the disposition of man can gradually be changed and he can live under the shining of the light, and that he can do all things in accord with the will of God, cast away the corrupt satanic disposition, and break free from Satan’s influence of darkness, thereby emerging fully from sin. Only then will man receive complete salvation” (“The Mystery of the Incarnation (4)”). Sister Zhao fellowshiped in this way: After we have read these words of God, we are clear about it, right? Though we have believed in the Lord for many years, we are unable to break free of the bondage of sin. The reason is that in the Age of Grace God only did the work of redemption, but not the work of eliminating sin. So no matter how much we confess our sins and repent, and overcome our own selves, or fast and pray, we will not be able to attain a condition of not sinning. That means if we want to break free of the bondage of our sinful nature, only experiencing the Lord Jesus’ work of redemption is still not enough. We need to accept the work of judgment done by the returned Lord Jesus because only God’s work of judgment in the can expose the origin of the sins people commit and show people the path of breaking free of their sinful nature and of gaining purity. When we act in accordance with what God is saying today, the corrupt disposition within us will gradually be cleansed, and we will break free of the bondage of sin, and only then can we obtain true release and freedom. So the “atonement for sin” in the Age of Grace and God’s “eliminating sin” in the last days are two different kinds of work. “Atonement for sin” was just the Lord Jesus standing in for man’s sins, and exempting people from the punishment they should have suffered for the sins they committed. But it does not mean that people are without sin, nor that people will no longer commit sin and will be completely cleansed. Rather, “eliminating sin” means removing the source of people committing sins, causing them no longer to sin and to attain a transformation in their life disposition, and being completely cleansed. So, only by accepting the work of judgment of God in the last days can we receive salvation, be brought into of God, and obtain God’s promise and blessing.