Transformation of Tiger Mother: Give Kids More Room

The international exchange moved me very much. I saw that God’s work is really very practical. God is not only the God who created the heavens and earth and all things, and holds sovereignty over all things, but is also the practical God who solves our various practical difficulties in life.

Afterward, I saw another passage of God’s words: “Besides birth and childrearing, the parents’ responsibility in a child’s life is simply to provide him or her with a formal environment to grow up in, for nothing except the predestination of the Creator has a bearing on a person’s fate. No one can control what kind of future a person will have; it is predetermined long in advance, and not even one’s parents can change one’s fate. As far as fate is concerned, everyone is independent, and everyone has his or her own fate. So no one’s parents can stave off one’s fate in life or exert the slightest influence on the role one plays in life. It could be said that the family into which one is destined to be born, and the environment in which one grows up, are nothing more than the preconditions for fulfilling one’s mission in life. They do not in any way determine a person’s fate in life or the kind of destiny amidst which a person fulfills his or her mission. And so no one’s parents can assist one in accomplishing one’s mission in life, no one’s relatives can help one assume one’s role in life. How one accomplishes one’s mission and in what kind of living environment one performs one’s role are entirely determined by one’s fate in life.”

child and parent playing

Thank God! After reading these words of God, I understood: Only God controls everyone’s fate; the parents’ responsibility in a child’s life is to bear and bring him or her up. A child isn’t the parents’ private property; instead, God destines and arranges for him or her to be born into a family, and provides them with an environment to grow up in. What kind of future and fate a child will have isn’t determined by the parents, and certainly can’t be changed by them, but is controlled and arranged by God. Previously, I’d had no knowledge of God’s sovereignty and predestination, and had thought that my children’s future would depend on how I educated them. I vainly dreamed of creating a beautiful future for them by my efforts, so I made harsh demands regarding their studies and other aspects of their lives: I enrolled them for various classes, set up strict daily schedules and drew up study plans for them. My children were tightly bound, and lost their free and happy childhood, and I was also exhausted and extremely miserable. Now I came to understand: The fate of each of us in life and the roles of us in the future are arranged by the Creator and don’t depend on our own efforts. It was I who was so ignorant and arrogant as to always want to change my children’s fates by myself, so that’s why I lived such a tiring and miserable life.

Then I read a passage of God’s word: “Everyone starts planning as soon as they have children: I want my child to receive what kind of education, attend what university, and then find a good job, and have a stable footing and status in society. That is, the first thing to have in life is knowledge, an academic degree, and then one will have status and power in society. That way, they will have living capital throughout their lives and power in the world, making it easy for them to survive and make a steady living. They won’t have to worry about food, clothing and shelter in the future. So when you have children, you will start to make plans for them. Some see their children have musical talents, so they make them learn the piano, violin, and so forth. Some see their children have literary talent, so they make them read more books, write novels, write biographies. Some even go find celebrities to nurture their children, striving to make their children follow the path they have laid out for them. … People all have this viewpoint and all want their children to pursue higher education because of the saying: ‘The worth of other pursuits is small, the study of books excels them all.’ Furthermore, competition in this modern society is especially intense. If they don’t have a university degree or have a firm foothold in society, making a living becomes a problem in the future. This is everybody’s thinking and point of view. That is, what you learn and what kind of educational background you can achieve will decide your livelihood, your future. In other words, people intend to rely on this thing to survive throughout life, and they see it as especially important. That’s why everyone sees receiving a high-level education and getting into a top university as the number one most important thing for their children.”

Through these words, I realized that, influenced by the thought and theory “Knowledge can change your fate,” and “The worth of other pursuits is small, the study of books excels them all,” which had been implanted in me by Satan, I thought that if I wanted to live a good life I must get a good education and have a good diploma. Only then could I find a good job in the future and have decent prospects; only then would I be looked up to by others. In my way of thinking, it was because I wasn’t well educated that I had to work hard in the restaurant. In order to give my children a stable footing and good jobs in society in the future, I deprived them of their happy childhood days and made them study according to my plans every day. As a result, my children and I all had been living miserable and tiring lives. Around me there are many parents like me. The goal of their nurturing their children is to get them into one of the Ivy League schools so they can “make something of themselves,” and for that purpose they constantly bring pressure to bear on their children. Consequently, owing to too much pressure, some children get fed up with studying and get world-weary. Some suffer depression, and what’s worse, some even mutilate themselves. All these are the afflictions Satan’s ideas and viewpoints have brought to us, and also the tricks that Satan uses to fool us. I was thankful that God has revealed the truth of how Satan corrupts mankind. But for the revelation of God’s words, I would have still lived in pain, unable to extricate myself, with no way out.

brother and sister sitting on a park bench

Afterward, I went along with the interests and hobbies my children themselves had chosen and no more required them to do homework above their grades. That is, the only homework they had to do was what their teachers assigned them. That way, I was able to relax, and my children were also gained more freedom. Later, I preached the kingdom gospel of Almighty God to my husband and children, and my children started to listen to hymns and watch videos from The Church of Almighty God almost every day. We often sang, prayed to God and shared what we had gained together. Now we close our restaurant for a day of rest every week. We attend meetings and worship God together with our brothers and sisters every week, and learn from each other. I have found that my children are more obedient than before now that they believe in God. Although now I don’t supervise them any longer, my son still does well in his studies, and my daughter is making rapid progress in learning to play the violin. And at the last teacher-parent meeting, the teachers especially mentioned that my daughter had made great progress in her studies. Thank God! It was God’s words that changed the way I educated my children and my habit of losing my temper at will stemming from my arrogant and corrupt disposition. As a result, I feel relieved and liberated.

It has been more than five months since I accepted God’s kingdom gospel. I can now come before God and receive God’s salvation in the last days, which is truly His grace and exaltation. I know there are still many of Satan’s corrupt dispositions in me, but I’m willing to equip myself with more truths, seek and practice the truth in everything, and perform my duty as a creature of God to repay His love! I thank and praise God! Amen!

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