Life-or-death Situation, Who’s Our Real Reliance

By Lin Yan

In 2009, I gave birth to my first baby, a baby boy, which made me very happy. However, when he was 18 days old, he began to have a fever and it couldn’t be controlled even with the best medication. The specialist determined that he had congenital immunodeficiency associated with chronic granulomatous disease (CGD). This resulted from an inherited gene mutation. As I carried defective genes and passed them on to my baby, thus causing him to be genetically abnormal. The doctor said, “This disease can only be radically cured by hematopoietic stem cell transplant. But because the risk of the transplant is very high, maybe it can’t be successfully transplanted, you may end up losing both your baby and money. This baby may possibly die young. If you want to have another baby, as long as it is a boy again, then he will probably have this disease, for it is only transmitted to the male but not the female.” Thinking of the doctor’s words, I especially wanted a healthy girl in my heart, so I asked for authorization of a second child.

Not long after that, I was really pregnant. My mother knew that I wanted a healthy girl and said to me, “Pray to God about this matter. We ourselves can’t decide it. If you truly believe in and rely on God, He will lead you.” In spite of my mother’s words, I still thought in my heart: Whether it is healthy or not, a boy or a girl, it is determined by the gene. Moreover, I have already been pregnant. Can prayer change this? With the fetus growing up in my womb day by day, I was more eager to know whether it was healthy or not, a boy or a girl. I thought and thought and was uneasy all day long. When the fetus was 24 weeks old, I went to have genetic testing done on the fetus. The result showed that it was unhealthy and I couldn’t keep it. I was extremely sorrowful at that moment. In March 2013, I was pregnant again and still wanted a girl. When the fetus was 40 days old, I underwent prenatal testing to determine the gender of the fetus. The result showed that it was male. And I bled after the test that day, losing the fetus. I felt very heavy at that time.

My mother came to my home again and said to me, “Everything of us is controlled in God’s hand. See! You don’t come before God and believe in God. Can you get things done by yourself? You’d better entrust the matter of having a child to God. Just pray sincerely to God. Don’t barter with God or make demands on God. Just rely on Him. Whatever God does, you just obey Him.” And then she read to me the words of God, “God created everything, and having created it, He has dominion over all things. In addition to having dominion over all things, He is in control of everything. … From the very phrase ‘God is in control of everything’ we should see that what God controls is not a portion of planets, a portion of creation, much less a portion of mankind, but everything: from the massive to the microscopic, from the visible to the invisible, from the stars in the universe to the living things on earth, as well as microorganisms that cannot be seen with the naked eye or beings that exist in other forms. This is the precise definition of the ‘everything’ that God is ‘in control of,’ and is the scope over which God wields His authority, the extent of His sovereignty and rule.

After hearing this passage of God’s words, I thought: I have no knowledge of God’s sovereignty. When I encountered things, I just believed in science and relied on my own power. I didn’t believe in the least that God is the Master of all things, much less was I willing to rely on Him. As a result, I ended in failure. It seems that it is really not effective to rely on myself. At this thought, I no longer opposed my mother’s fellowship so much in my heart. My rigid heart was turned around and I was willing to hear her fellowship about the matter of believing in God. Later, I decided to truly entrust the matter to God and look up to God. I prayed, “The unique Almighty God, I’m willing to commit the matter of having a baby to You. May You personally arrange it. No matter whether I will conceive a son or a daughter, whether it will be healthy or not, whether the result will be good or bad, I’ll obey You. May You forgive my previous faults and give me a chance to repent. Thank and praise God. Amen!”

After many such prayers, I was pregnant again in September 2013. With a heart of obeying God, I didn’t go to have a check until the fetus was 100 days old. When I learned from the result that I conceived a son again, I couldn’t help worrying. But I thought of what my mother said to me before, “God’s deeds are inscrutable to us. We should obey God’s sovereignty and arrangement to experience His work.” At this thought, I prayed to God silently, “O Almighty God! May You quiet my heart. It is also Your promise for me to have a son. I’m willing to obey You, for there is Your good will in it. Whether the fetus is healthy or not, may You rule over it.” Then the result came out and showed that everything of the fetus was normal and it was not the gene carrier. I was extremely excited and immediately offered up a grateful prayer to God, “O Almighty God! Thank You! It is Your marvelous deed that the fetus can be healthy. It is You who bestow upon me a healthy boy. I thank and praise You! If it were not for the leading of Your word which made me have faith to rely on You, I would still believe the scientific experience that “The disease is only transmitted to the male but not the female,” and would have aborted the fetus. Thanks for God’s salvation. Amen!”


In January 2015, for fear that my elder son would not grow into adulthood or would die of a sudden attack of infection at any time, we took him to Beijing to have stem cell transplant. The attending doctor said, “For a patient with this disease, the success rate of the transplant is either 0 or 100 percent. And the cost in the transplantation ward is from 250,000 yuan to over 1,000,000 yuan.” When I heard that, my heart thumped violently and I felt great pressure. However, my husband and I still decided to let our son have the operation for his health in the future. Less than a week after the transplant, my son had a fever and a mouth ulcer. At this moment, I began to fear that the rejection would happen, for the cells which were just transplanted into his body had not yet grown to normality and were in the stationary phase. Thus during that period, my kid was very likely to get infected or have rejection. If the hyperacute rejection happened, the consequences would be disastrous. In fear, I thought of God bestowing my second son upon me, from which I had seen God’s almightiness and sovereignty and that God is the Lord of all things. I believed that all things are in God’s hands, and I still needed to rely on God this time. Then, I prayed to God silently, calling out to God for His leading. After prayer, I calmed down a lot and was not so worried. After that, I prayed to God every day. Gradually, my son got rid of the fever and mouth ulcer and the hyperacute rejection didn’t happen. After 40 days, the transplant succeeded and then my son successfully left the transplantation ward. At that time, my faith in God increased, and I felt that God had listened to my prayer and led me by my side. I felt very assured and supported in my heart.

After leaving the transplantation ward, my son was transferred to an ordinary ward. Although the transplant succeeded, he was still in danger, for the good cells had not grown yet and hadn’t evolved resistance to the bacteria, which meant he still had no functioning immune system. A week later, he suffered cytomegalovirus infection. I was very nervous, for I once learned from the families of some patients that a child had become blind because of cytomegalovirus infection. What’s more, a patient’s mother in the next ward also said, “When our child just left the transplantation ward, there were over 10,000 viruses in the blood plasma and over 3,000,000 viruses in the whole blood. We spent about 9,000 yuan on one imported anti-virus injection and it cost almost 20,000 yuan every time. Now our child has been out of the transplantation ward for nearly two months but suffers great pain every day.” At her words, I became more worried. I thought: I’m in fear every day since I came here, always fearing that something unexpected would happen. My son just managed to leave the transplantation ward, but now the cytomegalovirus infection occurs. What shall I do?

In the evening, my mother called me and asked me about my son’s condition and when he could get out of the hospital. I said with a heavy heart, “The number of the viruses increased again. I don’t know when we can get out of the hospital.” She comforted me on the phone and asked me to rely on God more. So, I constantly prayed to God. When I was lying in the bed, I remembered a line of God’s word that my mother read to me before, “It is only from within your faith that you will be able to see God, and when you have faith God will perfect you. Without faith, He cannot do this.” Thinking of this, I quickly got up to pray to God again, “The unique Almighty God, may You continue to care for and keep my son. His situation is not stable. I’m willing to bring the matter of his being with viruses to You, letting You be the Master. Whether he will be fine or not is determined by You. No matter what the result is, I won’t complain but let nature take its course. I also know that whether the result will be good or bad is in Your hands. May You lead me and quiet my heart, so that I can do according to Your will. Thank God! May all the glory be to God. Amen!” Three days later, we went to have a checkup, and the number of the viruses decreased a lot. I knew in my heart that this was God’s deed, but I didn’t dare to relax for fear that the number of the viruses would increase again. So I prayed to God every day. Especially on the day when it was time for a checkup, I didn’t dare to leave God for a single moment. After 20 days, the viruses disappeared and everything was completely normal. I felt God’s love and salvation from the bottom of my heart. Every time when I was most in need and helplessness, God was my reliance and accompanied me all the time, giving me faith and strength and helping me through the crisis. Furthermore, I also saw that no one can decide one’s destiny. When my son suffered rejection and virus infection, what could my mother, my husband, and the doctor do? We were all helpless. Only God controls the life and death, the blessings and calamities of everyone and controls all the living and dead things. So, the bacteria and viruses also changed according to God’s thoughts.

After getting out of the hospital, my son needed to have periodic checkups. I had been used to praying to God on the day when we went for a checkup. Under God’s care and protection, my son didn’t have the symptom of rejection. Five months later, we went home smoothly. After that, my mother played me the hymn of God’s word “With True Faith Comes Witness,” “When sickness happens it is due to God’s love, and His good intentions are surely behind it. … Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. If you have but one breath, God will not let you die.” Then she fellowshiped with me, “Thank God! Today, God enables us to see His deeds through the illness of the child, and chooses and saves you before Him. It’s full of God’s great love for you. We also see that only when we come before God to worship Him can we have true reliance.” Hearing my mother’s fellowship, I even more felt God’s love and salvation for me. I thought: The parents of our two wardmates don’t believe in God, so they all live in anxiety and dread every day, with nothing to lean on. After leaving the transplantation ward, Wardmate A wasn’t rescued finally because of the rejection of the whole body caused by virus infection. The father of Wardmate A turned to Buddha in order to collect money, but both Buddha and money failed to save his child. The family ended up losing the child and money. And Wardmate B still suffers repeated rejection after getting out of the hospital. The family have spent over 1,000,000 yuan on the whole treatment and almost gone bankrupt, but now Wardmate B still cannot go home and is suffering the torment of the illness and the parents also live a hard life in pain and helplessness. In contrast, my son is safe and sound now. While thinking, I felt that God’s love for me was so great. Because of God’s protection and grace to me, I could come before Him and rely on Him. I was deeply moved and couldn’t help expressing my gratitude to God. I had a strength to believe in God with all my heart and follow God forever. Then I formally began to lead the church life.

After attending meetings, I gained some knowledge of God in my heart through constantly fellowshiping God’s word with my brothers and sisters. I saw God’s word saying, “If man researches something very small that God did, they could spend their entire life researching it without achieving any true results. That is why if you use knowledge and what you have learned to study God, you will never be able to know or understand God. But if you use the way of seeking the truth and seeking God, and look at God from the perspective of getting to know God, then one day you will admit that God’s actions and wisdom are everywhere, and you will also know just why God is called the Master of all things and the source of life for all things. The more you have such knowledge, the more you will understand why God is called the Master of all things. All things and everything, including you, are constantly receiving God’s steady flow of supply. You will also be able to clearly sense that in this world, and among this mankind, there is no one apart from God who can have such power and such essence to rule over, manage, and maintain the existence of all things. When you achieve such an understanding, you will truly admit that God is your God. When you reach this point, you have truly accepted God and let Him be your God and your Master.

Seeing these words of God, I understood: I used to think that science could solve all problems, but while carefully recalling the journey I went through with my two children, I found that science cannot help us at the crucial moment of life and death. Science is just the study of things or a saying which is summarized according to experience. The destiny of my son and everything of us are within God’s rule. Only God is our real reliance, and God is the Ruler and the source of life for all things. Thinking back, when I saw the first example of successful transplant in China reported in the program “Approaching Science,” I especially envied them. Later, I called them and learned that the transplant left the sequela of epilepsy on the child though it succeeded. By contrast, just because I had a little faith in God, prayed to God about my difficulties, and truly relied on and looked up to God, God showed grace to me. Under God’s leading, not only was the stem cell transplant of my son successful, but every aspect of his body recovered to normality and he was full of beans all day long.

Now, my elder son is 8 years old, and the illness doesn’t leave any sequela on him. I no longer need to worry about his illness all day long, feeling so relaxed in my heart. Seeing that he isn’t tormented by the illness anymore and also doesn’t need to prevent various infections intentionally, I know that all this is God’s care and protection as well as God’s great love and blessings for us. I’m more certain that God is the source of life for all things and it is God that constantly supplies and nurtures us. Through my experience, I truly feel that Almighty God is the Creator, the Master of all things as well as the unique God Himself.


Maybe you also like to read: Is God’s Work Done According to the Bible?

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