Does Belief Equal to True Faith in God?

Once when I read the book of God’s words, I saw the following words “True faith in God means experiencing the words and work of God based on a belief that God holds sovereignty over all things. So you shall be freed of your corrupt disposition, shall fulfill the desire of God, and shall come to know God. Only through such a journey can you be said to believe in God” (“Preface”). I understood that God’s work is to save mankind corrupted by Satan, and let mankind accept God’s judgment, have changes in our disposition and eventually live out the likeness of a true man. This can be said to be the true faith in God. Then to believe in God, we should not only remain changed in outward form, but also accept God’s judgment and chastisement, and pursue changes in our disposition. Although I wasn’t very clear about that, I also hoped that God could lead me to get rid of my corrupt satanic disposition, and finally I could become a person who truly believes in God, to be praised and saved by God.

After I had some knowledge of God’s work and knew God’s will of saving mankind, I became increasingly fond of attending meetings. Later, because the sister who watered me from the beginning was too busy, instead of her, another younger sister had meetings with me over the telephone. But a few times later, I always sensed that her fellowship was not so good as that of the former sister, so I began to find fault with her, one moment saying she didn’t send a message to contact me and the next searching for other excuses. In a word, I didn’t get along with her. Once we had made an appointment with each other to have the meeting at 9:00 in the morning, but the owner whom I worked for didn’t go out when it was at 9:00 a.m., whereupon I sent a message to the younger sister, telling her that I might be a little late for the meeting. When the owner left home at several minutes past nine, I rang the younger sister up. At that time, she was about to answer a phone and let me await her for a while. Then I began to wait and wait until 11 o’clock a.m., but she still didn’t call me, nor did she send a message to me. At that moment, I had no way to hold back my anger and thought: Even though you are busy, you should give me a call or send a message. Consequently, she called me at 11:30 a.m. Being angry, I, all the time, didn’t answer her call, but sent a message to her petulantly, “I know that you are busy. You needn’t spend your energy on a person like me. I own books of God’s words. I can read by myself. As long as I don’t do bad things, I will be fine!” The younger sister continually rang me up, and moreover, she sent messages to apologize to me, but I neither answered her call nor sent back messages, opposing her like this. The next day, she called me again, but I still didn’t answer it. In the subsequent three days, she didn’t ring me up. All of a sudden, I felt very empty and uncomfortable in my heart. Sometimes when I wanted to read books of God’s words, however, I could not absorb them, feeling far distant from God in my heart.

A few days later, the sister who originally watered me called me and asked about my recent state. I said petulantly, “Just so-so. Nobody is in charge of me at present.” The sister asked me intimately again and again, “Are you all right?” Then I told her what had happened between the younger sister and me. She comforted me and explained that the younger sister hadn’t answered me because of an emergency. She wanted to introduce a sister of my age to water me, but I refused resolutely and said, “Oh, forget it! I know that you’re all very busy. It is enough for me to read God’s by myself.” At last, the sister could do nothing but decide to have meetings with me as before. She was really too busy nonetheless, so sometimes when we were having a meeting, she had to leave ahead of time due to something unexpected. Ultimately, she had to arrange another sister to water me.

At a meeting, I spoke out what had happened between the younger sister and me. The sister fellowshiped with me, “It was a circumstance arranged by God for you, within which there was God’s will.” Then, she also showed me a passage of God’s words: “If you believe in the dominion of God, then you must believe that the things that happen every day, be they good or bad, don’t happen accidentally. It is not that someone doesn’t get on with you or opposes you on purpose; it is actually all arranged by God and He orchestrates everything. What does God orchestrate everything for? … Firstly, He makes you aware of your own corrupt disposition, your own nature and essence, your own shortcomings and what you lack. Only by knowing these things and understanding them in your heart can you cast them off—this is a God-given opportunity. You must learn to seize this opportunity and know how to seize it; don’t lock horns and don’t resist. If you are always competing with the people, events, and things that God has arranged around you, if you are always trying to extricate yourself from them, always feeling dissatisfied, always harboring a disagreeable mentality and always misunderstanding, then you will find it very difficult to enter into the truth. Through obeying, seeking, praying more, retreating to your spirit and coming before God then, unbeknownst to you, a change will happen in your inner condition. When you are having a change, the reality of the truth is being wrought in you, and you will then progress and will see a change in the conditions of your life …” (“If You Wish to Attain the Truth, Then You Must Learn From the People, Matters, and Things Around You”). After reading God’s words, I began to understand that the things were all permitted by God. He orchestrated such an environment to expose my corruption, making me clearly see my ugliness. Recalling my attitude to the younger sister in the beginning, I felt myself too unreasonable and arrogant. I had thought that I had a good humanity. At that time, I found that I really didn’t have conscience and reason and was too arrogant: I was continuously importunate and found fault with the sister all along just for such a little thing. Considering that the younger sister took her rest time to water me without asking for a penny from me, I could still treat her with an attitude like that. At this thought, I felt especially sad in my heart. I continually prayed to God, acknowledged that I had no humanity, and regretted myself, my heart then calmed down.

Having known that it was I myself who had been wrong, I wanted to apologize to the younger sister. But because I’m an elder, I wouldn’t like to make an apology to a younger one for fear of losing my face. After I prayed to God silently in my heart, I still didn’t know how to start the topic, there being struggle for a long time in my heart. At night, I thought of God’s words, “It takes courage when you dissect yourself and lay yourself bare. Look, when no one else is around, regardless of if you’re praying to God, or admitting your mistakes, repenting, or dissecting your corrupt disposition to God, you can say whatever you want, for with your eyes closed you can’t see anything, it’s like speaking to air, and so you are able to lay yourself bare; whatever you thought, or whatever you said at the time, and your motivations, and your deceitfulness, you are able to speak of them. Yet if you have to lay yourself bare to another person, you may lose your courage, and you may lose your resolve to do so, because you can’t take down your front, you can’t remove the facade, and so it is very difficult to put these things into practice. … When God asks that people put every truth into practice, they are required to pay a price, and to really and literally act, practice, and experience, to incorporate them into their real lives. God does not ask that people speak catchphrases” (“To Be Honest, You Should Lay Yourself Open to Others”). Pondering God’s words, I thought: I have realized that I was wrong, with arrogance and no humanity. And I also knew I should apologize to the younger sister, but I couldn’t make it. I could only pray and acknowledge to God, but couldn’t open up to the younger sister. Without such a resolution, when will my disposition be changed? I struggled all night with my heart coiled. The next morning, I prayed to God again: “O God! May you give me strength, and let me have the courage to practice the truth and make an apology to the younger sister.” Then I mustered my courage and apologized to the younger sister by sending a message. She sent back a sincere message, “It is my fault not to ring you up in time. I haven’t done well what God committed to me. I feel indebted to God.” At that moment, I felt much too relaxed in my heart. Eventually, I took this step, lowered my arrogant head and apologized to the younger sister. Meanwhile, I also experienced that practicing the truth was really very happy. Henceforth, I had a closer relationship with God and also more understanding of brothers and sisters. No matter who came to have meetings with me, only if what he fellowshiped was about God’s words and of benefit to my life entry, they’re all the same to me.

Now, I am no longer an amateur believer in God, nor do I believe in God for seeking good from Him. I know the deeper meaning of believing in God is to experience God’s work, practice according to God’s demands, change my corrupt disposition, and finally live out the likeness of a true man. Only in this way can I be saved and perfected by God. Thank God for selecting me. All the glory be to God!

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