On the fourteenth day of the twelfth lunar month in 2015, my wife and I were doing our laundry in nice weather. When night fell and my wife was just about to have a rest, she suddenly was sweating all over and looked uncomfortable, so I hurriedly took her to a private clinic nearby. After the doctor gave her a careful check-up and made a diagnosis, he said, “Your wife has an acute coronary heart disease. I will prescribe her some medicine and give her an injection, and see if it works. If she doesn’t get better, you have to transfer her to the hospital in time.” Hearing the doctor’s words, I was all in a tremble. I thought, “My wife is seriously ill. Many people died soon after they had this disease. Will my wife lose her life too?” Thinking of this, I agreed with the doctor’s suggestion at once.

The next afternoon, my wife didn’t get better but felt worse. I immediately transferred her to the People’s Hospital of the city. After the emergency rescue and check-up, she was diagnosed with acute coronary disease, that is, myocardial infarction. The doctor took me out of the ward and said to me, “Your wife is taking the best medication now, but it just saves her temporarily. She is seriously ill and might die at any moment. You’d better prepare for the worst in advance.” It was like a bolt from blue for me to hear that. So I shed tears with my head bowed. Suddenly, I heard the crying from the opposite ward. It turned out that a chief, in his fifties, had just died of myocardial infarction, only two days after being sent to hospital, which grieved his family. At that time, I was more in a panic. I thought, “He died so soon, even if he has money and power. We are just common people. Does it mean that my wife is bound to leave me anytime?” I was so sad that I complained, “We have believed in God. Why does this disease still happen to us?” Just then, God’s word came to my mind, “Everything, from the surrounding environment to people, affairs, and things, all exist by permission of His throne. Do not on any account let grievances arise in your heart, or God will not bestow His grace upon you. When sickness befalls, this is God’s love, and surely His kind intentions are harbored within. Though your body may undergo a bit of suffering, entertain no ideas from Satan. Praise God in the midst of illness and enjoy God in the midst of your praise. Do not lose heart in the face of illness, keep seeking again and again and do not give up, and God will illuminate you with His light. How was Job’s faith? Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. So long as you still have one breath, God will not let you die.” God’s words woke me up immediately. Yes! All that happened was permitted by God and He wanted us to seek His will when we were in sickness. We shouldn’t lose heart or be upset, nor should we complain against God. But I did lose heart and complained when I heard that my wife was seriously ill and saw that the man with money and status died of this disease. Where was my faith in God? There must be God’s good intentions behind this disease. Even though I didn’t understand, I shouldn’t complain any more. Then I prayed to God in my heart, “God, my wife is seriously ill, but there must be Your good intentions behind it. You are almighty. I believe her disease is in your hand. Please give us the true faith and make us understand Your will in this disease. I’m willing to entrust my wife’s life to You.” After praying, I had some confidence and power. I believed that so long as we truly relied on God, He would not let my wife die, even if she had only one breath left. Then I said to my wife, “Don’t worry. You will get better. We believe in God, so we must have faith in Him!” My wife nodded her head and said, “I know. I have been praying to God since I was ill, ‘God, You give me my life. It is Your righteousness, if You truly take it back right now. Please protect my heart so that I won’t complain. Please give me faith …’”

The next morning, after the ward rounds, the doctor called me into his office. He took out a notice of critical condition and asked me to sign it. He said, “According to our clinical experience, your wife is seriously ill and might die at any moment! You’d better inform your family, relatives and friends of her condition as soon as possible so that they can come to see her for the last time.” I signed uneasily and thought, “The doctor has concluded several times that my wife is in critical condition. Is it true that she is dying?” I silently prayed to God in my heart, “God, the doctor said my wife would die at any moment. I’m really weak now. I know I am in trials which require my faith to go through. I am willing to obey Your sovereignty and arrangements. Please guide me. Amen!” The prayer calmed me down a little bit, and I remembered God’s word: “People’s faith is required when something cannot be seen by the naked eye, and your faith is required when you cannot let go of your own notions. When you do not have clarity about God’s work, what is required of you is to have faith…. People are in need of faith during times of hardship and refinement, and faith is something that is followed by refinement; refinement and faith cannot be separated.” From God’s words I knew that we should have faith in God before we can understand His will. I recalled that I seemed to have faith in God when all went well, but when the things that were not in line with my notions happened, I lost heart and got upset. I didn’t have true faith! Then I made up my mind: “This time, no matter if it is hardship or refinement, I will not lose faith in God, even though I have received the doctor’s notice of my wife’s critical condition. I know God is observing my every act and move. He is testing my faith in Him.” After understanding God’s will from His words, I fellowshiped about God’s words with my wife. We pledged to God that no matter what happened, we would not complain but stand with Him and stand firmly to witness for Him.

Then we quieted our hearts before God and relied more on Him. In the next few days, although my wife was confined to bed and attached to medical devices, she didn’t feel much pain. Another patient in the ward said to my wife amazingly, “I am suffering so much, but why does it seem that you don’t feel any pain?” We thanked God in our heart for His protection. We knew He was with us. Seven days later, the doctor took off the machines attached to her. Seeing she could walk and eat, the doctor said with surprise, “It’s unbelievable! Your wife is recovering so well. It’s marvelous!” I kept thanking God in my heart. Because I knew: Doctors can heal people but cannot save their lives. Everything is determined by God. It is God’s wonderful deed.

Soon, it came to the twenty-sixth day of the twelfth month of the Chinese calendar. The hospital invited an expert to carry out the operation for 6 serious patients, my wife was the last one. The hospital issued a critical condition notice about my wife, and I was asked to sign a contract before surgery. Before my wife went into the operation room, we both prayed to God. I prayed, “Oh, God, You say: ‘People’s faith is required when something cannot be seen by the naked eye.’ My wife’s operation is in Your hand. God, we are willing to obey your arrangements no matter what You do.” After praying, we were at ease. More than an hour had passed. My wife was wheeled out of the operation room. The doctor said to me, “Sorry, we can’t perform this operation. An artery of her heart is clogged with blood clots, so she couldn’t be treated by stent insertion.” After hearing these words, I wondered why the five patients before my wife could successfully undergo this heart procedure, but my wife couldn’t. At that moment, God’s word came to my mind: “When confronting real-life problems, how should you know and understand God’s authority and His sovereignty? When you are faced with these problems and do not know how to understand, handle, and experience them, what attitude should you adopt to demonstrate your intention to submit, your desire to submit, and the reality of your submission to God’s sovereignty and arrangements? First you must learn to wait; then you must learn to seek; then you must learn to submit. ‘Waiting’ means waiting for the time of God, awaiting the people, events, and things that He has arranged for you, waiting for His will to reveal itself gradually to you. ‘Seeking’ means observing and understanding God’s thoughtful intentions for you through the people, events, and things that He has laid out, understanding the truth through them, understanding what humans must accomplish and the ways they must adhere to, understanding what results God means to achieve in humans and what accomplishments He means to attain in them. ‘Submitting,’ of course, refers to accepting the people, events, and things that God has orchestrated, accepting His sovereignty and, through it, coming to know how the Creator dictates man’s fate, how He supplies man with His life, how He works the truth within man.” God’s words showed us the ways of practice: We should learn to wait, seek and grasp God’s will and submit to His sovereignty and arrangements when we confront problems and don’t know what to do. Thinking back to what happened during the past few days, I saw that God had been watching over and protecting us since my wife fell ill. Although my wife couldn’t undergo the procedure right now and I didn’t understand God’s will in it, I believed that everything is within God’s rule. We just submitted to His arrangements and orchestrations. Then, I calmed down and waited peacefully with my wife.

Soon it came to the twenty-ninth day of the twelfth month of the Chinese calendar. The doctor said to me, “You can take your wife back home to celebrate the Spring Festival. I will prescribe medicine for her for half a month. Come back and have the heart procedure after the Lantern Festival.” We came back to the hospital on the eighteenth day of the first month of the Chinese calendar. After a complete checkup, the doctor said to me with surprise, “It’s amazing! Your wife was dying before, but now she is recovering quickly. It’s such a rare thing. The result shows she doesn’t need the procedure.” We were very happy to hear the news and kept thanking God!

During the 13 days in the hospital, I received the critical condition notice twice, stating that my wife was in danger and would die at any moment. Because I had little faith in God, I believed what the doctor said. Especially when I saw that the government official with wealth and status who had the same disease as my wife died in only two days, I had no place for God in my heart and began to complain. However, God didn’t deal with me in accordance with my transgressions. Knowing that I haven’t believed in God for very long, He always used His words to enlighten and guide me to understand His will and submit to His sovereignty and authority. What’s more, when I truly had faith in God and relied on Him, my wife not only recovered well, but didn’t need to undergo a heart procedure. From this I saw how small and helpless we are in the face of diseases. Money and status can never save our lives. It’s only God who can save us. From now on, I am only willing to put my all into doing my duty to repay God for His love. All glory be to God!

Extended Reading:

A Car Accident, A Twist of Fate for Me