My name is Ping’an and I am 65 years old. At midnight on December 11, 2015, I suddenly had a heart attack. My heart started pumping very fast and I suddenly got short of breath. After a while, it felt as if my heart stopped beating for over half a minute. At that time, I was lying on the bed and felt numb all over; I couldn’t feel my body at all. It felt like death was closing in on me. My heart was full of helplessness and despair, and I thought to myself: “If it continues like this, I’m afraid I am going to die before dawn.”
Acting on survival instincts, I made a huge effort to pat the bed, but I couldn’t feel my hands. Then I tried to wake my husband up but was unable to issue any sound from my throat. At once, a wave of fear came over me. Anxious and frightened, I couldn’t help crying. Just at that moment, God’s words came to my mind: “The greatest wisdom is to look to God and rely on God in all things.” God’s words pointed out the path of practice to me: I should pray to God and rely on Him in all things I encounter. God is almighty and practical, and I believed that as long as I prayed to and relied on Him, He would guide me.
Thus, I prayed to God silently: “God, I am having a heart attack. I’m unable to move a muscle or utter a word. I’m in agony and I’m almost suffocating. I don’t know if I will live through the night. God, You’re the almighty God and all things are in Your hands. Whether I live or die tonight is also controlled by You. Even if I die tonight, I will not complain. I’m willing to submit to Your sovereignty and arrangements. Amen!” After praying, my heart felt a little bit better. And what was marvelous was that I was able to let out a sound: I gave a long sigh. After a few minutes, my husband suddenly got up, and asked me hurriedly: “Did you sigh just now?” Receiving no reply, he hurried to my side and found my eyes were open. Then he realized that I was having a heart attack, so he hurriedly sat me up and gave me cardiac medication. After an hour or so, I began to get better. I knew God heard my, and that it was He who made my husband give me the pills in time, otherwise my heart may have stopped beating. I thanked God for His protection!
Afterward, as my body had become swollen all over my husband took me to the county hospital for treatment. After I had an examination, the doctor told me: “Your illness is very serious. So you have to go to a big hospital for an operation, or you will not have long to live.” After hearing this, I got deeply uneasy, and thought to myself: “I am only 63. I don’t want to die now. Maybe I should go to a big hospital. But, if my operation fails, then…” At that time, I tossed and turned in the hospital bed, and the more I thought about it the more upset I got. I felt there was no further hope for me, and couldn’t stop the tears flowing down my face. In my pain, I prayed to God: “O God! The doctor said my illness is serious and I need to go to a big hospital for an operation. But I am afraid that I will die if my operation fails. God! I beg You to protect my heart and lead me to understand Your will. Amen!” Just then, God’s words occurred to me: “When sickness happens it is due to, and His good intentions are surely behind it. Even when your body endures suffering, take no ideas from Satan. Praise God in the midst of illness and enjoy God in the midst of your praise. Do not lose heart in the face of illness, keep seeking and never give up, and God shall shine His light on you. How faithful was Job? Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. If you have but one breath, God will not let you die.” “Faith is like a single log bridge, those who cling abjectly to life will have difficulty in crossing it, but those who are ready to sacrifice themselves can pass over without worry. If man has timid and fearful thoughts, they are being fooled by Satan. It fears that we will cross the bridge of faith to enter into God. Satan devises every way possible to send us its thoughts, we should always pray that the light of God will shine on us, and we must always rely on God to purify us from Satan’s poison. We shall always be practicing in our spirits to come close to God. We shall let God have dominion over our whole being.” From God’s words, I understood that my suffering the heart attack that day was allowed by God, and that He wanted to perfect my faith through it. Whether my operation would be successful or not, and whether I would live or die, was all in God’s hands. All I needed to do was depend on God, look to God, and commit myself into His hands. Also I understood that my worrying about and fearing of the failure of the operation were Satan fooling me and were also its trickery. It wanted to make me lose , remain ill, and as a result, misunderstand God and blame Him. In this situation, I should rely on God, always come close to Him, and pay attention to living in His presence so that I will not fall for Satan’s tricks anymore.
Then I thought of Job. All of a sudden he lost enough sheep and cattle to cover a mountain, lost all his children, and was covered in sores from head to toe. But when faced with such a major trial, he obeyed God without any complaints and was able to thank and praise God, stand testimony for God, and put Satan to shame. So eventually, he received God’s blessings. It is clear that Job had true faith in God! So I knew I should emulate Job. No matter what God did, I must not lose my faith in God, but should give my life to God and submit to His orchestrations in life and death. With this in mind, I often came before God and got close to Him; gradually I had the faith and courage to face the coming operation.
On January 3, 2016, my daughter and my husband took me to the First People’s Hospital in a nearby city for treatment. I was examined, and the results revealed that I not only had a congenital heart defect (the ductus arteriosus had remained open), but also had pulmonary arterial hypertension, and that my weight was only 36 kilograms. Then, the doctor told me, “Although this minimally invasive surgery is just a minor operation, there are still some risks involved since you are old and have a weak constitution. In addition, if something unexpected turns up during the operation, you’ll have to be transferred at once to the surgery department for major surgery. And we dare not guarantee that nothing untoward will happen during this process, so you should prepare for the worst. Discuss it with your family. If you agree to have the operation, sign your name on the operation consent form.” Hearing these words, my heart was filled with apprehension and I was extremely anguished and sad. I thought: “If I don’t have the operation, I can live for at least another six months to a year. But if I sign my name and have the operation, and it ends in failure, then I will … What should I do?” As I was thinking this, tears pooled up in my eyes. At that time, I suddenly realized that I was again living in a wrongful state, so I hurriedly prayed to God. After praying, I thought about these words of God: “Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. If you have but one breath, God will not let you die.” God’s words gave me confidence and courage once again, and I was no longer so afraid. Suddenly, I remembered the night when I had the heart attack. That night, I had just one breath left yet God did not let me die. God is always by my side, watching over and protecting me, and moreover, I have seen His great power and authority, so what do I have to fear? Pondering God’s love, I felt much steadier in my heart. Then I made up my mind to entrust myself to God and be at the whim of His arrangements. Thereupon, I signed my name on the consent form.
On the afternoon of January 6, when I was due to have the operation, I made a submissive prayer to God: “O, God! I’m going to have the surgery in a moment, and I entrust my life to You. No matter what the result will be, I am willing to obey You and submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements. God! As long as I have one breath, I will never leave You and will follow and worship You.” After I prayed like this, I felt peaceful in my heart and was able to calmly face the coming operation. When the operation was about to be performed, I vaguely heard a doctor say to the chief surgeon: “Due to the patient’s condition, the operation is going to be difficult. I’m afraid that I won’t do it well, so it is better for you to do it.” When I heard this, I became a little afraid again. But I immediately realized that this was Satan disturbing me, so I prayed to God and asked Him to protect my heart so that I could live before Him and entrust myself to Him rather than be stuck in my illness. Like this, I depended on God through the whole operation. Afterward, I heard the chief surgeon say happily: “The operation has been successful.” At that very moment, tears welled up in my eyes. I was so very grateful forthat allowed me, originally a dying person, to get my life back. After the operation, even though I had a weak constitution, I got better soon and even put on 10 kilograms.
I thank God for His salvation! Through this experience, I gained some true knowledge and understanding of the authority of God’s words, and my faith in God also grew. What’s more, I also saw God’s wondrous deeds. When I had a heart attack and thus lived in fear, it was God who used His words to guide and lead me, letting me know His intention, so that I became strong and free in my spirit, and was willing to depend on God to experience the illness. When I entrusted myself to God, I saw His mercy for me: The operation was successful and I also recovered from it very soon. I thanked God for all these things He had done to me, which made me feel that everything that God does is salvation and love for mankind. My only wish is to pursue the truth earnestly from now on, practice the truth, and try my best to fulfill my duty to repay God’s love for me.
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